Post by johnsapphire on Nov 3, 2006 20:26:52 GMT -5
Long ago, there was a polis. The polis’s name was Fluxius, so none of the gods really wanted it, as they all wanted their name to be on the “Welcome to…” sign on the entry to the polis.
“We want to be able to name a polis something like ‘Athena-ville’ or ‘Apollo-town’!” they cried, “What good is a polis to us that already has a name?”
But one day, there was a battle between Fluxius and its neighbor on the west side, Occidentavicus. Fluxius won, but it really didn’t matter much, since neither side had much manpower in their army, and there wasn’t any room for a navy. Also, it was really more of a brawl, since only about thirty people total were actually involved. Nevertheless, it happened on Aphrodite’s birthday, so she went down to earth and demanded that everyone worship her. Since most of the men were farmers and had never seen (or found a use for) pretty women that did nothing all day, Aphrodite’s beauty caused a great number to faint. Touched, Aphrodite bent over and put a finger to the earth, and a great golden flag rose up, the unanimous symbol of stately ownership (or) patronship, depending.
Unfortunately, the general on the Fluxion side of the brawl was Adonis, a long lost son of Poseidon, who the latter identified by his exceptional bent towards praying to his father to conjure an earthquake or tidal wave whenever someone tried to hurt him in battle. Seeing his son as its Major General, Poseidon immediately demanded that he be named the polis’s Patron God. When the men of the Fluxius meekly said that they preferred gentle, loving, beautiful Aphrodite to harsh, ruthless and redolent of the future Marquis of Queensbury Poseidon, the again latter flew into a rage and aimed an earthquake at Aphrodite’s flag, thus toppling her only claim to ownership. Seeing her flag gone, Aphrodite burst into tears and flew back up to Olympus, and Poseidon created his own flag and stuck it into the ground, protecting it with a sign that said, “If you knock over this flag, then you’re gay,” playing into the homophobia of the masses.
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“We want to be able to name a polis something like ‘Athena-ville’ or ‘Apollo-town’!” they cried, “What good is a polis to us that already has a name?”
But one day, there was a battle between Fluxius and its neighbor on the west side, Occidentavicus. Fluxius won, but it really didn’t matter much, since neither side had much manpower in their army, and there wasn’t any room for a navy. Also, it was really more of a brawl, since only about thirty people total were actually involved. Nevertheless, it happened on Aphrodite’s birthday, so she went down to earth and demanded that everyone worship her. Since most of the men were farmers and had never seen (or found a use for) pretty women that did nothing all day, Aphrodite’s beauty caused a great number to faint. Touched, Aphrodite bent over and put a finger to the earth, and a great golden flag rose up, the unanimous symbol of stately ownership (or) patronship, depending.
Unfortunately, the general on the Fluxion side of the brawl was Adonis, a long lost son of Poseidon, who the latter identified by his exceptional bent towards praying to his father to conjure an earthquake or tidal wave whenever someone tried to hurt him in battle. Seeing his son as its Major General, Poseidon immediately demanded that he be named the polis’s Patron God. When the men of the Fluxius meekly said that they preferred gentle, loving, beautiful Aphrodite to harsh, ruthless and redolent of the future Marquis of Queensbury Poseidon, the again latter flew into a rage and aimed an earthquake at Aphrodite’s flag, thus toppling her only claim to ownership. Seeing her flag gone, Aphrodite burst into tears and flew back up to Olympus, and Poseidon created his own flag and stuck it into the ground, protecting it with a sign that said, “If you knock over this flag, then you’re gay,” playing into the homophobia of the masses.
COMMENTS? To read, it takes 2 minutes. Or less. Please comment.