Dragonlore: Betrayal (14 A)

[Duskglimmer]

You don't suck. You have lots of room for improvement, but you don't suck. If you'd really been terrible, I would have had a lot fewer comments. You'll learn that about me, if I see that you're trying and putting real effort into things you'll get dozens of nitpicks.

And you're welcome. And I apologize. I really don't intend to be mean, but I know I come off that way sometimes.

As for what I think of it... you've got dragons, which I love and I'm curious what you'll do with the half-dragons. I've seen it done before, but I've never been real pleased. I'm crossing my fingers and hoping for your story.

And I'm strangely attracted to the name Kelmac. It sounds like someone I'd like to meet.

[Cy Skywalker]

Because Duskglimmer said so much, I won't. But I will say that the main thing I noticed about this story is that it wasn't so intense as I expected, even from the summary in your avatar space. It begins with the typical fantasy-story explanation, which is long and rife with 'to be' verbs; not too interesting. Perhaps start with the scene after, and explain the world as a prologue or an insert-chapter.

[Ethan]

Don't worry everyone, I am doing some massive editing, adding things, changing things......when i am done editing my first twelve chapters, I will post them if anyone wants me to.

[Techy]

*raises hand* I do! count me in!

[Ethan]

well, I'd assume that my editing process may take anywhere from four weeks, to 347870473870498759623094872095707 years......so yeah, i may not be able to post them for a while.

[Techy]

I have paitence. *pops in movie and pulls out 47 flavored popcorn*