Post by ohsocameo on Aug 27, 2007 12:06:19 GMT -5
It's 468 words of utter nonsense, inspired by thy beloved Titanic.
The great ship Allegra set sail on a foggy Wednesday, carrying a shipment of Jell-O to India, where they were very short on wobbly threats. The perky, go-getting crew was ready and excited to begin their journey as they waved goodbye to friends and family ashore.
One sailor in particular, who did not have a name but if he did it would be Oscar, paced the deck with excitement. It was his first voyage and he just knew something extraordinary would occur. Sure enough, not 42 miles from the shore, a pod of fish-unicorn hybrids were spotted by the spunky skipper.
"Thar she blows!" he cried. "I've spotted a pod of fish-unicorn hybrids!" Everyone rushed to the side of the boat, their shoes sticky with excitement to see the natural wonder.
"Well I'll be," whispered '50s sailor guy. Aging tourist sailor pulled out his camera and snapped photos. But he-who-was-not-named-Oscar smelled trouble. The fish-unicorn hybrids seemed hostile as they were not use to invaders in their territory, and began stabbing the boat's side with their cheap plastic horns.
Jell-O blasted out. "What the deuce?" cried he-who-was-not-named-Oscar. The captain wet his pants with sadness. "There goes my shipment!" The fish-unicorn hybrids cackled with glee and then swam frantically away to where ever fish-unicorns live, probably somewhere in the western Pacific.
As the boat began to sink, the stupid sailors jumped and tried to swim back to shore, whilst the smart ones looked for the lifeboats. Unfortunately, it was discovered that a pack of starving leprechauns had eaten the lifeboats, having mistaken them for candy.
"Sorry," the leprechauns said. Thus, the dumb sailors who had attempted swimming to shore had actually had the right idea, because they would not be sucked down in the whirlpool resulting from the water displacement caused by the ship.
Luckily, a Serbian airplane that had been lost in a mythical fog since WW1 dropped down at that very moment to rescue them. Everyone survived, except aging tourist sailor who didn't know how to climb a ladder.
"Thanks ever so much," '50s sailor guy said to the 115 year old pilot. The-sailor-not-named-Oscar handed out towels that smelled of mildew and the industrial revolution and everyone dried off.
Afterwards, the crew drank hot coffee the old-fashioned way from dusty cups and wondered at the amount of supplies available on the ship. It was an avian paradise.
"This is an avian paradise!" said a sailor that no one ever spoke to because he had a funny way of smelling, even amongst sailors. Everyone glared at the sailor for daring to speak. The pilot observed the way they treated their crew-mate and decided the sailors were undeserving of rescue. He then poked them out the door with his cane, and flew off into the distance with the unwanted sailor.
P.S.
I have no idea how to indent. I could have sworn I read something about it in the rules but I can't find it now.
The great ship Allegra set sail on a foggy Wednesday, carrying a shipment of Jell-O to India, where they were very short on wobbly threats. The perky, go-getting crew was ready and excited to begin their journey as they waved goodbye to friends and family ashore.
One sailor in particular, who did not have a name but if he did it would be Oscar, paced the deck with excitement. It was his first voyage and he just knew something extraordinary would occur. Sure enough, not 42 miles from the shore, a pod of fish-unicorn hybrids were spotted by the spunky skipper.
"Thar she blows!" he cried. "I've spotted a pod of fish-unicorn hybrids!" Everyone rushed to the side of the boat, their shoes sticky with excitement to see the natural wonder.
"Well I'll be," whispered '50s sailor guy. Aging tourist sailor pulled out his camera and snapped photos. But he-who-was-not-named-Oscar smelled trouble. The fish-unicorn hybrids seemed hostile as they were not use to invaders in their territory, and began stabbing the boat's side with their cheap plastic horns.
Jell-O blasted out. "What the deuce?" cried he-who-was-not-named-Oscar. The captain wet his pants with sadness. "There goes my shipment!" The fish-unicorn hybrids cackled with glee and then swam frantically away to where ever fish-unicorns live, probably somewhere in the western Pacific.
As the boat began to sink, the stupid sailors jumped and tried to swim back to shore, whilst the smart ones looked for the lifeboats. Unfortunately, it was discovered that a pack of starving leprechauns had eaten the lifeboats, having mistaken them for candy.
"Sorry," the leprechauns said. Thus, the dumb sailors who had attempted swimming to shore had actually had the right idea, because they would not be sucked down in the whirlpool resulting from the water displacement caused by the ship.
Luckily, a Serbian airplane that had been lost in a mythical fog since WW1 dropped down at that very moment to rescue them. Everyone survived, except aging tourist sailor who didn't know how to climb a ladder.
"Thanks ever so much," '50s sailor guy said to the 115 year old pilot. The-sailor-not-named-Oscar handed out towels that smelled of mildew and the industrial revolution and everyone dried off.
Afterwards, the crew drank hot coffee the old-fashioned way from dusty cups and wondered at the amount of supplies available on the ship. It was an avian paradise.
"This is an avian paradise!" said a sailor that no one ever spoke to because he had a funny way of smelling, even amongst sailors. Everyone glared at the sailor for daring to speak. The pilot observed the way they treated their crew-mate and decided the sailors were undeserving of rescue. He then poked them out the door with his cane, and flew off into the distance with the unwanted sailor.
P.S.
I have no idea how to indent. I could have sworn I read something about it in the rules but I can't find it now.