Need help with a story idea.

[lucafont90]

I truly need some help on a story idea. Well, here's the case. I take creative writing at my highschool. We have two semester projects each year. My teacher gave us the choice of writing an epic poem or a novel. Not being able to write poetry, I chose to write a novel. I have a story idea, I just need some help at expanding out it. She wants to be 50,000 words long at it is due at the end of the school year. So far for the last few months, I have been putting together an outline of a novel that I hope will work for my project. I have character outlines, maps, drawings, and all that bric-a-brac that is associated with it. I just need a strong beginning and ending. The middle is fine, but I just don't like the ending of it. If anyone could help me, I would greatly appreciate it and I will post the synopsis of it at a later time when my father isn't hovering over my shoulder like he is about to attack me.

[Chris]

I'll help you out if I can.

[lucafont90]

Thanks.

Well, it is kind of a love story, science fiction, horror, Victorian novel idea I have and it is based partly on the fairy tale, Bluebeard.

The topics so far that I have in it are incest, love, death, writing, and murder. As I said, I shall post the detailed synopsis I have once I am done typing it, which will be done in a few moments, hopefully.

[Chris]

....

Talk about a teaser! It sounds intense.

[lucafont90]

Quite. Quite. Well, here is a very,very, very(I don't know how many very's I have to say), but it is a very rough outline of it so far.

Rough synopsis of

Monsieur Derouxe: A Bluebeard Tale

LOOSELY based upon the fairy tale, The Legend of Bluebeard, and the life of Henri Landru, the French serial killer.
Prologue:

THE prologue introduces the novel as a chronicle of the latter life of Joseph Munglar, the alleged serial killer who murdered five of his wives and was executed for it.

Part I:

Chapter One:

IN the city of Chaucer, Joseph Munglar, a drunkard and failed literature professor, engages in unsafe sexual intercourse with filthy prostitutes, partakes of the drug Opium, and beats his lovers to a bloody pulp after they give him access to their monetary funds, until he meets a sweet and loving fourteen year old girl, Madeleine Voltaire. After meeting a few times, the two immediately fall in love.

Chapter Two:

SLOWLY, Joseph gives up everything for her; alcohol, opium, and prostitutes. He calls her his pretty Maddie. After months of having sexual intercourse, Joseph gets her hopelessly pregnant.

Chapter Three:

THE two secretly elope after her parents, Henry and Holly Voltaire, threaten to report Joseph to the police for statutory rape, since Maddie is only fourteen years of age at the time. They call him a deranged pedofile and madmen. Joseph then tells them that Maddie is pregnant. After a long scene of heated fighting and cursing with Maddie’s parents, Joseph flees the scene and returns to him apartment, where Maddie is patiently waiting. He packs a suitcase for Maddie and him, so they may flee to the city of Bombard, where Joseph reluctantly takes a job as a postman.

Chapter Four:

WHEN Maddie grows ill with an unknown disease that has horrific side effects, Joseph begins to write an emotional novel to which he says to himself will change the world forever. Writing in secret, Joseph continues on with his life; working in the day, taking care of Maddie at night, and writing whenever he can get the chance. All the while, Maddie grows more ill with a drastic fever that flings her into periods of seizures. Terrified that his true love will die, Joseph quits his job as a postman and takes care of Maddie full time. She slowly begins to go blind, sores producing puss begin to form on her body, her hair slowly starts to fall out, and loses the felling in the lower part of her legs. Saddened by the thought of Maddie dying, Joseph buys her a special locket, which contains poem expressing his love for her. She cherishes the locket and keeps it with her.

Chapter Five:

ON the snowy night of December Fifth, Maddie goes into labor. Joseph frantically rushes her to the hospital, where they refuse to serve them. Frightened at the thought of Maddie dying from childbirth, Joseph quickly rushes her back to his apartment, where he helps Maddie deliver a beautiful baby girl. In one last breath of life Maddie says I love you to Joseph and dies. Caring for the girl, Joseph takes Maddie’s locket, bundles the baby in a blanket, tucks the locket inside of it, and lays her on the front steps of a large run down orphanage of the outskirts of Bombard. He is desperate, alone, and heartbroken by the death of his wife. He leaves the baby at the orphanage so he doesn’t have to be reminded of Maddie or of his child. He just wants to forget about his life with Maddie. He wants to isolate himself so he doesn’t have to feel the pain of his loss. Part I ends with Joseph leaving Bombard on a train. Not knowing where it may lead him, Joseph removes all his money from the bank with the prospect of a new life in his mind.

Part II

Chapter One:

MOVING around for quite a while, Joseph settles into a small and prosperous town, Dumas, with his newly changed name, Monsieur Jacques Derouxe. With his new name, Derouxe claims to be a proprietor of the arts; including theater, music, art, and dance. He meets a young woman, Henrietta Jovial, and marries her. Months after their marriage, Henrietta seemingly disappears and all her money goes to Jacques.

Chapter Two:

DEROUXE has the appearance of a rich man; suave and sheik. He wears the best clothes money can buy. Wooing rich women, he seduces the, persuades them to let him have access to their monetary funds, marries them, kills them shortly after the marriage, and hangs their bodies in a locked chamber in his villa’s basement, all the while still writing his novel. He marries four until he meets a fairly famous opera singer.

Chapter Three:

WHEN the rich Jane Poster, a famous opera singer, wants to marry Jacques, he gladly accepts and marries her. Many weeks after their marriage, Jacques tell his wife that he has been called away due to a legal complication that has occurred at his bank. He leaves all the keys to his villa with her, including the one to the locked chamber in the basement. He tells Jane to explore the villa all she wants, but to not enter the chamber in the basement for it holds a secret that he dares not share with her.

Chapter Four:

SHORTLY after he leaves, Jane is overcome with desire to see what is in the chamber. Cautiously, she goes down to the basement, unlocks the door of the chamber, and enters. She finds the horrifying secret within. Derouxe’s four murdered wives hang from the walls. The floor reeks of curdled blood. When Jane runs out of the chamber in sheer terror, she finds that Jacques has returned. She hears his footsteps above her and he calls her name.

Chapter Five:

WHEN she frantically turns around to lock the door, Derouxe runs down the basement stairs in a rage. Jane screams that he is a crazy lunatic and should be locked up in an asylum. Overcome by the thought of being discovered and caught for his heinous crimes, Derouxe slits his wife’s throat as he calls her his little Pandora. He quickly hangs her body in the chamber and immediately tries to flee and return to Bombard, but is stopped by his neighbors when they try to question him. They claim to have heard a scream erupting from his basement. He denies everything. Derouxe drives to his bank, withdraws all his money, and flees to Bombard. Part II ends with Derouxe’s neighbors discovering Derouxe’s secret chamber.

Part III

Chapter One:

CHANGING his name back to Joseph Munglar, he lives a sinful life of debauchery and lust until, years later, he meets a fifteen year old girl who resembles his love, Maddie. Her name is Heather Skull. She falls deeply in love with him after he tells her
that he loves her.

Chapter Two:

AFTER months of having a sordid with Heather, Joseph accidently gets her pregnant when they have unsafe sexual intercourse. Still writing his novel, months slowly pass by when Joseph suddenly realizes that Heather is his daughter when she tells him that she was left at an orphanage shortly after her birth. Maddened by the guilt of getting his daughter pregnant, Joseph asks his daughter many questions about her parents and she tells him that she knows nothing of her parents, except for a gold locket with a poem in it. Horrified, he asks her one last question; her birthday. She simply replies, “December Fifth.”

Chapter Three:

IN a poem, Joseph reveals to Heather that he is her blood father. Shocked, she tries to commit suicide but starts to go into labor. Joseph rushes her to the hospital, where she dies after giving birth to a baby girl, who he names, Madeleine.

Chapter Four:

LEAVING the hospital without his child, Joseph wonders the streets; the quilt rising upon his broken soul. Getting drunk with brandy, he meanders back to his apartment, gathers up his almost finished novel, and stumbles to a police station where he confesses to murdering his wives and getting his dead daughter pregnant. They immediately arrest him when he cries out his alias, Monsieur Jacques Derouxe, a wanted murderer.

Chapter Five:

A short and deceitful trial takes place and Joseph is sentenced to die by the sinister Olorasis, a machine that is a cross between the guillotine and the electric chair. He finishes his novel on the last day of his life and dedicates it to Madeleine and Heather. The novel’s climax occurs when Joseph is lead up the scaffold where the Olorasis sits. Pondering about the choices in his life, he screams out the quote made by Bishop Beilby Porteus, “One murder makes a villain; millions a hero.” He cries out all the sins that he has committed as electricity is passed through his body and a sharp blade chops off his head. A villain is rightfully exterminated.

Epilogue:

FINDING Joseph’s finally finished novel in his cell, Joseph’s attorney, Hector Hubert, reads the first line of the story; The most important lesson you can learn in life is to love and be loved in return.

I know the last part came to me as I was watching Mouline Rouge(Sp?)

I think that some of it sounds a little odd, but I think that it could work as a novel, even though I might get expulsion because of it.

The idea came to me when I was watching Monsieur Verdoux, by Charles Chaplin, a few days ago and I thought that I could make my own novel of it, but with a different story line. As it says in the outline, it is based upon the life of Henry Landru and the legend of Bluebeard.

I was highly influenced by Nabokov's Lolita and Ada or Ardor.

[Chris]

It's definitely racy, and dark. Murder you could probably get away with, but incest? In a school assignment? They'll have you committed.

Important question before I continue: Does Munglar kills his subsequent wives only for the money?

[lucafont90]

You're right about the incest...I might have to change that part of the story.

Yeah, Munglar murders his wives for their money, which is what Landru actually did when he would marry.

So far, everything looks all right, except for the incest part. Do you see any plot holes or a way I can take out the incest.

I'll be thinking about it.

[Chris]

I must be misunderstanding something somewhere, but it seems odd that your protagonist lived the most of his life murdering his wives for money if he really believed that the most important lesson to learn is to love and be loved. There's a fundamental conflict of principles there.

I agree with the majority of the story being solid. I'd personally be cool with the incest stuff, but it's like I always say: consider your audience. If your audience is your teacher, and maybe your fellow classmates, then you might definitely want to consider an alternative to that. Otherwise, it sounds like a very dark and psychological novel, something I'd want to read.

[lucafont90]

Your thesis about the fundamentals of principles is quite true now that I see it. I may have to take that out.

It's true that I have to remember my audience; school officials and my classmates, who may or may not be offended by. I really hope that it is a dark and psychological novel that plunges deep into the dark subjects of life; murder, incest(maybe not now), hate, greed, and other such things.

Thanks for your input! Greatly appreciate it!

So far I have no idea as to part III of the novel where the incest takes place. I will be thinking about it.

[Hunter]

If you're in high school, incest probably isn't the way to go. It's a very creative and interesting path to take...but not for a school project. If it just a story you were writing, I'd say go for the incest and throw caution to the wind.

You could, however, have it technically not be a sexual relationship, but merely a romantic one. Perhaps he courts her, only to find out she is his daughter. True, you would be forced to remove the part about his chilld/grandchild, but meh, life happens.

pestilence said:

I must be misunderstanding something somewhere, but it seems odd that your protagonist lived the most of his life murdering his wives for money if he really believed that the most important lesson to learn is to love and be loved. There's a fundamental conflict of principles there.

I disagree. Back in the day, you did not marry for love. You married for monetary gain. Furthermore, this man is INSANE. His philosophy need not follow typical beliefs, nor even make sense!

You could really get away with him BELIEVING in his philosophy, even if it's completely twisted and totally immoral by normal standards. Maybe he only considers Heather and Maddie his loves, and his wives, merely tools. Not human. And therefore unable to be loved. Right?

--Phoenix.

[lucafont90]

Quite right.

When I was outlining it, that is way I was going. My original intention was for it to be a novel set in the Victorian times.

In Monsieur Verdoux, Charle's Chaplin's masterpiece, Verdoux murders his lovers so he can have money for his handicapped wife and ten year old son, who he loves very much. I was going to go this way, but I didn't want to copy the storyline that much, except for the murdering of the wives.

The way Verdoux kills his wives is quite twisted. He uses a poison that doesn't shows up in an any known autopsy(sp?), so he could merely leave the bodies wherever he wants.

Verdoux takes place during the great depression. When Verdoux loses all his money in the stock market, he realizes that he has been living a half dream half reality life. Before the crash of the stock market, Verdoux doesn't beleive in lofe nor affection, until he finally realizes that good can prevail over evil. So, he stops killing his wives and loses all his money until he is caught by the police, prosecuted, and finally executed on the Guillotine.

There are many similarities to Verdoux and Derouxe, notice the way the names are spelled.

There are also many attributes to Henri Landru(Landru-Verdoux, sounds alike, heh?) He was the real life Blurebeard who inspired Chaplin to write the script, Actually Oreson Wells(sp?) gave him the idea.

But I do like his morals and how they are twisted. Imagine a deranged lunatic murderer who says his sould principle is, "The most important lesson you can learn in life is to love and be loved in return." It is simply the ramblings on of a madman.

[Chris]

Why is every single person here smarter than I am? Seriously.

[lucafont90]

You seem smart.

[Chris]

I might seem that way, but things are never what they seem.

[Hunter]

And AGAIN, you should realize that never is never right