Post by Jessica Sparrow on Jul 23, 2006 22:49:09 GMT -5
NOTE:
This is a screen play a friend of mine wrote, and I'm tring to help him out with it. I asked him if he minded me posting it here and he said...and i quote..."F**** YEAH" soo...here I am. Please share your thoughts, they will be greatly apricated.
I give you, The Untitled Adventures of Nolan Wood!
We start with a room, a large room in which conceals three men, well two men and one boy. That boy is I, Nolan Wood. Often in my stories I’ll teach my readers about things they wouldn't normally know about. I call these moments, "Nolan's fourth wall lecture". The taller of the two men, is the narrator. The other man would be the teleprompter, but the production value of this story is astoundingly low, so we use cue cards instead.
The cardholder resembles someone who works at a fast food restaurant (cough cough...McDonalds...cough cough). Mr. high and mighty narrator is about to speak, let's listen in shall we?
NARR: "The Untitled Adventures of...Nolan Wood?"
NOLAN: "blah blah blah.... just get on with the story!"
NARR: "Grrrr... Our story begins in a little town called...."
NOLAN: "Oh so now it's "OUR" story!!!!!"
NARR: ".... fine.... HIS story begins in a little town called..."
*Nolan walks over to the narrator and starts to argue with him*
NOLAN: "You can't do it right let me handle it!!!"
NARR: "NO it's my job!!!"
NOLAN: "What makes you think I care!!!
...You’re worth is as much as a tomatoes worth of corn chips!"
NARR: "UGH!!!.... That’s it I QUIT! I’m going out for coffee and maybe some of those little cookies...yum!"
*he storms out of the room and over to the starbucks across the street...or is it the one by wal-mart....or by red lobster....hmm...those things are everywhere!*
CARD
HOLDER: "....What do we do now?"
NOLAN: "...I'll take over from here. This is my story, a story of action, comedy, and....more action!!!...This is....
*DUM...DUM...DUMMMMMMM*
"THE UNTITLED ADVENTURES OF....
NOLAN WOOD!!!!!"
OWENSBORO, BURNS MIDDLE SCHOOL, 2:00, NOLAN AND HIS CLASS ARE IN THE LIBRARY, NOLAN IS ON ONE OF THE COMPUTERS.
NOLAN: "Why do I have to research monkeys for reading class....
.... Ugh I can't find a single thing..."
*one of Nolan’s class mates walks up to him*
CLASS
MATE: "You can't find anything because... you typed in....potato..."
NOLAN: "!!! I hate you so much right now...
CLASS
MATE: "It's not my fault your stupid..."
NOLAN: "I...you.... grr...GO!!!"
*the classmate laughs*
NOLAN: "I DON"T WANT TO HAVE TO HURT YOU!!!.... I KNOW ORAGAMI!!!!
CLASS
MATE: "The art of paper folding?...you know what, I’ll say us both some time and leave..."
*he walks away*
NOLAN: "Yeah you better leave before I go all kung fu on yo' butt!.... now where was I?
*After a while of searching on the Internet, a message pops-up. *
www.Extremely dangerous games.very very very very dangerous.com/danger
NOLAN: "hmm...."
*he clicks on go*
*DO NOT ENTER*
*click*
*EXIT NOW IF YOU WANT TO LIVE*
*click*
*YOU STUPID HARD HEADED KID STOP...NOW!!!!!*
*...Click*
NOLAN: "I hate pop-ups"
*loading.... loading.... loading.... loaded!!!*
*The screen starts to glow*
NOLAN: "WHAT THE....!!!
*Nolan is sucked into the computer...I’m wondering why nobody has noticed this..."
NOLAN: "AHHHHHHH!"
*Nolan is falling thousands upon thousands of miles...1 hour later...still falling.... it’s not going to much better so I’ll just fast forward.... please enjoy this quick commercial, brought to you by ford, built ford tough...
BLIND AND DEAF, LIFE'S UNPREDICTABLE, WITHOUT THE CAPABILTIY TO SEE OR HEAR DU DA DU SOMETHING SOMETHING WHO CARES!...ITS THE HELEN KELLER COMEDY HOUR STARING HELEN KELLER!!! YOU'LL LAUGH FOR HOURS JUST TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT SHE SAID!!! YEAH!!! SHE'S JUST LIKE YOU AND ME EXCEPT SHES BLIND AND DEAF!!!! TUNE IN TODAY AT SEVEN PM !!!!! IT'S BLINDTASTIC AND DEAFMAZING! (NOTE: I KNOW THIS IS WRONG BUT FOR THE SAKE OF THIS STORY I'M DOING IT!!!!)
*Ah here we are.... back to the story*
NOLAN: "zzzzzz..."
*Nolan wakes up and sees...*
NOLAN: "STALAGTITES...STALAGMITES?...uh.... SPIKES!!! I haven't even lived yet!!! *He starts crying*
*he passes right through the stalag.... spikes...*
NOLAN: "an illusion?"
*he glares downward...something else appears.... something horrible.... something vomit-inducing...I can't bear to look*
NOLAN: "!!!! STUFFED ANIMALS!!!!!.... But wait the last one was an illusion!!! YEAH I’m not afraid of you stuffed animals, and your fluffy softness!!!"
*plop...he lands on the stuffed animals."
NOLAN:"...eep.... IT BURNS! THE PEACE THE LOVE THE TRANQUILITY!!!!!
*He starts spazzing out...suddenly a trap door opens and Nolan falls through*
NOLAN: "...I’m not gonna scream anymore..."
*as our young handsome hero falls a portal opens, Nolan falls through and comes out a computer owned by the daughter of a man whose wife recently passed away and now dresses in drag...what a world we live in.*
NOLAN: "ow.... where am I now?
*A little girl about 5 years old runs up to him*
GIRL: "TOOTH FAIRY!"
NOLAN: "excuse me?"
GIRL: "here's my tooth"
NOLAN: "um...do I look like a fairy?"
GIRL: "Dollar."
NOLAN: "uh...sorry tooth fairy broke"
GIRL: *in a demonic voice* GIMME MY DOLLAR!!!!!!!
NOLAN: "...eep...okay uh here, now if don't mind...I got to change my pants..."
*he scurries off*
GIRL: "YAAAAY...hmm.... I...O...U...RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
*Nolan quickly escapes from the demon child and arrives in Town Square. He walks up to a newsstand, which holds an electronic billboard thingy...he begins to read it. *
*Monday August, 16th 3005, Super bowl 1267 this Sunday, George Bush clone #15 wins presidential election*
NOLAN: "!!!! SUPER BOWL THIS SUNDAY!!!! I've got to buy tickets!!!!"
*an hour passes, Nolan finds himself in a wanton shop. *
NOLAN: "ooooooo.... wantonrific"
*at the counter the owner of the shop who was reading "Horrible mistakes, where God went wrong" looks up at Nolan*
OWNER: "wait a minute...!!!"
*he exits the shop and dashes over to Casey's detective agency. *
OWNER: "YO' Casey!
CASEY: "Sup' Will?"
WILLY: "do you remember Nolan Wood?"
CASEY: "yeah that's case...352, why?
WILLY: "I think I’ve found him!"
CASEY: "that's impossible he's been missing for 1000yrs without exposure to chiroperophane!
*DUM DUM DUM!!!!…
Welcome to Nolan's fourth wall lecture, 101, chiroperophane and you! Chiroperophane is a special chemical discovered by future scientists, that extends your longevity. Meaning you can't die of old age or the effects caused by it. Of course you stay the age you were when started taking them! Good-bye for now. But before I go this is a picture of a cow, can you say cow...gooood. *
CASEY: "Anyway...where is he?"
WILLY: "At my shop"
CASEY: ".... and who is running your shop?"
WILLY: ".... crap..."
CASEY: "...your stupid..."
WILY: "let's just go!"
*back at the wanton shop, Casey catches Nolan’s attention. *
CASEY: "Nolan Wood?"
NOLAN: " yeah...hmm...do I know you two???"
WILLY: "yes you do.... I’m W...."
NOLAN: "Watson!...HOW ARE YA!!!"
WILLY: "actually its Willy..."
NOLAN: " that’s nice...now you..."
*Casey glares at him with a sick twisted evil.... glare thingy. *
NOLAN: ".... yeah that's Casey....
CASEY:
NOLAN: "yo' what up, it's been so long"
CASEY: "yeah 1000 years to be exact"
NOLAN: "seems like 5 hours" *sniff sniff*
CASEY: "what's wrong?"
NOLAN: "do you smell that?"
WILLY: "sorry"
NOLAN: "no not that, it's that kind of smell, that smelly smell, that smells.... smelly...it could only come from one soul...OUTSIDE now!!!
*Nolan Casey and Willy run outside of the shop and find a guy incased in a robotic battle suit thingy...its not one of those huge ones...its a bout 8 ft high*
NOLAN: "...Zach...."
CASEY: "emperor!"
NOLAN: "WHAT!!!"
ZACH: "Nolan...long time no see...I’ve been waiting..."
NOLAN: "for what?'
ZACH: "a decent fight...I’ve always wanted to wipe the floor with you"
NOLAN: "yeah...I guess we are nemeses right?.... but how the heck am I supposed to win when your wearing a brooding robot battle suit!!!"
ZACH: "?...oh you mean my body"
NOLAN: "what!"
*welcome to Nolan’s fourth wall lecture 102, the mighty robot overlord! We have a special guest...ZACH! Take it away buddy!
*Ight...right after Nolan was sucked into the computer, I went over in astonishment to see what had happened, and I was wondering, why nobody had noticed Nolan flying into a computer...anyway, the computer zapped me and I gained powers for a limited amount of time, after the time was up I lost the powers, I became obsessed with trying to obtain it. During an experiment I crushes my body, but I had a new body built. Here I am today mad with power. MUWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Well see ya!
NOLAN: "zzzzz"
CASEY: "wake-up!"
NOLAN: "huh!!!"
*Zach charges at Nolan and slams his fist into his torso, crushing him against the ground, he then drags Nolan through the concrete and drives him into a building*
NOLAN: "AHHH! That HURT!" *cough cough*
ZACH: "Pathetic I thought you would be stronger than that! Of course no regular human could survive that.
NOLAN: "you're right"
ZACH: "WHAT!"
NOLAN: "errrr AHHHH!
*A strange aura surrounds Nolan; he breaks free from Zach's grip. *
ZACH: "THAT power, the same power.... DIGITAL POWER! But why do I care I have more power now than you could ever hope to have!
NOLAN: "now now, don't get cocky.
*Zach jumps back and fires two missiles at Nolan*
ZACH: "See ya'"
NOLAN: "tch' "
*Nolan catches the two missiles*
ZACH: "HE!!!!"
NOLAN: "catch!"
*Nolan drops the first missile and throws the other at Zach who tries to catch it and is thrown back into the wanton shop, making the wall crumble*
WILLY: "MY SHOP!!!!!"
NOLAN: "sorry Wilbur"
WILLY: "IT'S WILLY!!!"
ZACH: "DARN YOU!!!"
NOLAN: "...hmph...!!!!"
*a large piece of debris falls on Zach, crushing him! *
NOLAN: " I didn't mean for that to happen!"
CASEY: "it's not your fault...come on I’ll treat you to a movie. You coming will?"
WILLY: "ARE YOU NUTS!!! He’s dangerous to be around!"
*Willy scurries off, and Casey and Nolan go to the malco, up on the recked wanton shop a dark figure stands, glaring at Nolan*
?: "fools..."
*he vanishes*
*1 hour later, Nolan and Casey are watching Jaws 26 in 3-D*
NOLAN: "AHHHHHH!"
CASEY: "Just cover your eyes!"
*they hear a thump coming from outside*
CASEY: "what was that?"
NOLAN: "dunno, I’ll check it out"
CASEY: "you just don't wanna watch the movie you big chicken!"
NOLAN: "NO!, I’m just worried that a...kitten could have fell and hurt itself!"
CASEY: "sure..."
*Nolan walks outside and looks around, shortly after Casey comes out. *
CASEY: "well?"
NOLAN: "No... Nothing."
CASEY: "I know I heard something!"
NOLAN: "Don't worry it's probably a.... GET DOWN!"
*as Nolan and Casey drop an energy blast screeches past. BOOM! *
NOLAN: "SHOW YOURSELF!"
*Nolan and Casey get up and the shadowy figure walks out of the shadows*
NOLAN: "Who are you?"
KAIDER: "you don't know...I am the evil that lay dormant in your heart...at least until we exited the computer, that's when I found a way to escape!"
NOLAN: "!!!...So what do you want?"
*Kaider warps in front of Nolan*
KAIDER: "you Dead!...bang..."
*he fires a needle like shot from his index and middle fingers into Nolan’s heart, he then turns and looks at Casey, and raises his palm. A burst of air comes out forcing Casey off her feet and into the malco*
CASEY: *cough cough hack*
*Kaider flies away towards the middle of the new, ginormous Owensboro, he lands and his heart starts to accelerate, he starts growing, he grows to a staggering height, above all towers, 10000 times as tall as he normally is*
KAIDER: "RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
*Casey is at the Owensboro mercy hospital*
DOCTOR: "okay so you want me to resurrect him...hmm...it seems his heart is damaged...we'll need a donor. Oooooooh nurse Dan!
DAN: "Yes?"
*the doc plunges his hand into Dan's chest and pulls out his heart*
CASEY: "WHAT THE!!!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!!"
*the doc turns and gives her a crooked smile*
DOC: "hahahahaheheheheeeehahahahahohohohahaheeee!
CASEY: "eep!"
DOC: "time for surgery!"
*30 long minutes later*
CASEY: "I'm gonna hurl!!!"
DOC: "done...now...5.... 4...3.... 2...1...."
*Nolan rises*
NOLAN: "E=mc squared!"
*he falls backward*
NOLAN: "ugh.... WHERE’S KAIDER!!"
CASEY: "he went towards the middle of Owensboro."
NOLAN: "OKAY SEE YA!"
*he powers up and flies to Kaider*
DOC: "you are gonna pay me right?"
CASEY: "ugh"
*a couple of seconds later*
NOLAN: "there he is...KAIDER!"
KAIDER: "what your alive!...no matter."
*an earthquake occurs*
NOLAN: "His energy is immense! He made the earth tremble by moving his eyebrow!"
*Nolan charges at Kaider but Kaider slaps him, sending him flying into the ground*
NOLAN: "how could I forget to calculate his size.
*He jumps up, and Kaider throws a punch down at Nolan, but Nolan jumps on to his arm and runs up to his head and fires and energy blast at him! *
NOLAN: "YEAH! One point for Nolan!"
KAIDER: "FOOL!"
NOLAN: "here goes nothing!"
*Nolan and Kaider clash, punches whiz by each other, kicks fly, some making contact, they fight with such speed that sonic the hedgehog pales in comparison! *
NOLAN: "he's too strong I’m gonna have to use IT!"
KAIDER: "use what?"
NOLAN: "while I was dead I went to hell (for "supposedly" causing Zach’s death) and while I was down there I learned that you turn into a demon almost immediately. I was brought back before the process was finished. I'm half Demon!..........DEVIL TRIGGER!
*Welcome to another edition of Nolan's fourth wall lecture, 103, devil trigger power!
Devil trigger allows me to access the powers of a demon at will; there are modes where I gain more power too. EX> DTX2, DTX5, etc. During this I become 2 x's as strong, 5 x's as strong etc.*
NOLAN: "BRING IT ON!"
KAIDER: I LOVE THAT MOVIE!!!
*Nolan warps to Kaider's torso and charges into it throwing punches every which way, and Kaider is pushed back*
KAIDER: "darn!"
*Nolan pulls back his hands and forms an energy blast in each hand*
KAIDER: "I'll show you MY true power!"
*he grows two extra heads, the energy blasts in Nolan’s hands disperse*
NOLAN: "AH! SICK!"
KAIDER: "TRI CHARGER BEAMS!"
*his heads point at Nolan and fire 3 blasts that combine and form a highly destructive beam, Nolan is fatigued and can't move away fast enough, the beam engulfs his right arm, he falls to the ground. *
NOLAN: "no I can't use my arm! He’s coming...? What’s that sound?"
*two missiles whine past Nolan and hit Kaider knocking him back, a helicopter comes down and Casey gets out of it! *
CASEY: "you ok?"
NOLAN: "does it look like it?...I need to gather my energy...he's getting up again! There’s no way I can do it! I need more time!"
CASEY: "I'll give you more time!"
*she hops in the helicopter and flies toward Kaider*
CASEY: "take this...*click*...no... Ammo!.... *gulp*.... bye...."
*she flies at Kaider with full speed and crashes into him making it explode, holding him off for a little longer. *
NOLAN: "!!!!CASEY!!!! WHY THE HECK DID YOU DO THAT!!!!!!"
*he gets up and with his good arm he forms all the energy he can into his palm*
NOLAN: "I WON"T let your death be in VAIN!..... DEVIL TRIGGER X 5! NOW YOU DIE! FINAL SHINE!!!!!!
*He puts his hand in front of him and fires a ginormegahugebigiga...big beam that engulfs Kaider*
KAIDER: "!!! WHAT!!!! I CAN'T DIE I'M INVINCIBLE!!!! RAHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhh..."
*the beam disappears and Kaider is gone. *
NOLAN: "It's over..."
*he searches for Casey, thinking she might be alive...but to no avail...*
NOLAN: ".... better...get home..."
*he turns and sees thousands of people...the residents of Owensboro, cheering him, the overlord is gone and so is Kaider...they are at peace*
PEOPLE: "YAAAAAY! HE HAS SAVED US! WE SHALL BUILD A MEMORIAL IN YOUR HONOR, AND DECLARE TODAY A WORLWIDE HOLIDAY!"
NOLAN: "um...no...I'm not the one you should be thanking...you should be thanking Casey...without her help...I wouldn't have been able to destroy Kaider..."
PEOPLE: "SO WHERE IS SHE?"
NOLAN: "she’s...Dead..."
PEOPLE: ".... we are sorry...we will celebrate her accomplishments..."
NOLAN: "Two questions.... 1. How can YOU make today a WORLDWIDE holiday and 2. Do any of you have a working computer?"
PEOPLE: "...OWENSBORO IS THE TOP POWER IN THE WORLD!... and yes we do have a computer"
NOLAN: "...things definitely have changed..."
*Nolan goes with the people to the computer, he goes to the same website.... *
NOLAN: ".... bye.... people of the new Owensboro...."
*he is sucked into the computer on his way back to his own time, soon after the people leave a dark figure jumps in after Nolan..."
UNTIL NEXT TIME...
THE END!
This is a screen play a friend of mine wrote, and I'm tring to help him out with it. I asked him if he minded me posting it here and he said...and i quote..."F**** YEAH" soo...here I am. Please share your thoughts, they will be greatly apricated.
I give you, The Untitled Adventures of Nolan Wood!
We start with a room, a large room in which conceals three men, well two men and one boy. That boy is I, Nolan Wood. Often in my stories I’ll teach my readers about things they wouldn't normally know about. I call these moments, "Nolan's fourth wall lecture". The taller of the two men, is the narrator. The other man would be the teleprompter, but the production value of this story is astoundingly low, so we use cue cards instead.
The cardholder resembles someone who works at a fast food restaurant (cough cough...McDonalds...cough cough). Mr. high and mighty narrator is about to speak, let's listen in shall we?
NARR: "The Untitled Adventures of...Nolan Wood?"
NOLAN: "blah blah blah.... just get on with the story!"
NARR: "Grrrr... Our story begins in a little town called...."
NOLAN: "Oh so now it's "OUR" story!!!!!"
NARR: ".... fine.... HIS story begins in a little town called..."
*Nolan walks over to the narrator and starts to argue with him*
NOLAN: "You can't do it right let me handle it!!!"
NARR: "NO it's my job!!!"
NOLAN: "What makes you think I care!!!
...You’re worth is as much as a tomatoes worth of corn chips!" NARR: "UGH!!!.... That’s it I QUIT! I’m going out for coffee and maybe some of those little cookies...yum!"
*he storms out of the room and over to the starbucks across the street...or is it the one by wal-mart....or by red lobster....hmm...those things are everywhere!*
CARD
HOLDER: "....What do we do now?"
NOLAN: "...I'll take over from here. This is my story, a story of action, comedy, and....more action!!!...This is....
*DUM...DUM...DUMMMMMMM*
"THE UNTITLED ADVENTURES OF....
NOLAN WOOD!!!!!"
OWENSBORO, BURNS MIDDLE SCHOOL, 2:00, NOLAN AND HIS CLASS ARE IN THE LIBRARY, NOLAN IS ON ONE OF THE COMPUTERS.
NOLAN: "Why do I have to research monkeys for reading class....
.... Ugh I can't find a single thing..."
*one of Nolan’s class mates walks up to him*
CLASS
MATE: "You can't find anything because... you typed in....potato..."
NOLAN: "!!! I hate you so much right now...
CLASS
MATE: "It's not my fault your stupid..."
NOLAN: "I...you.... grr...GO!!!"
*the classmate laughs*
NOLAN: "I DON"T WANT TO HAVE TO HURT YOU!!!.... I KNOW ORAGAMI!!!!
CLASS
MATE: "The art of paper folding?...you know what, I’ll say us both some time and leave..."
*he walks away*
NOLAN: "Yeah you better leave before I go all kung fu on yo' butt!.... now where was I?
*After a while of searching on the Internet, a message pops-up. *
www.Extremely dangerous games.very very very very dangerous.com/danger
NOLAN: "hmm...."
*he clicks on go*
*DO NOT ENTER*
*click*
*EXIT NOW IF YOU WANT TO LIVE*
*click*
*YOU STUPID HARD HEADED KID STOP...NOW!!!!!*
*...Click*
NOLAN: "I hate pop-ups"
*loading.... loading.... loading.... loaded!!!*
*The screen starts to glow*
NOLAN: "WHAT THE....!!!
*Nolan is sucked into the computer...I’m wondering why nobody has noticed this..."
NOLAN: "AHHHHHHH!"
*Nolan is falling thousands upon thousands of miles...1 hour later...still falling.... it’s not going to much better so I’ll just fast forward.... please enjoy this quick commercial, brought to you by ford, built ford tough...
BLIND AND DEAF, LIFE'S UNPREDICTABLE, WITHOUT THE CAPABILTIY TO SEE OR HEAR DU DA DU SOMETHING SOMETHING WHO CARES!...ITS THE HELEN KELLER COMEDY HOUR STARING HELEN KELLER!!! YOU'LL LAUGH FOR HOURS JUST TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT SHE SAID!!! YEAH!!! SHE'S JUST LIKE YOU AND ME EXCEPT SHES BLIND AND DEAF!!!! TUNE IN TODAY AT SEVEN PM !!!!! IT'S BLINDTASTIC AND DEAFMAZING! (NOTE: I KNOW THIS IS WRONG BUT FOR THE SAKE OF THIS STORY I'M DOING IT!!!!)
*Ah here we are.... back to the story*
NOLAN: "zzzzzz..."
*Nolan wakes up and sees...*
NOLAN: "STALAGTITES...STALAGMITES?...uh.... SPIKES!!! I haven't even lived yet!!! *He starts crying*
*he passes right through the stalag.... spikes...*
NOLAN: "an illusion?"
*he glares downward...something else appears.... something horrible.... something vomit-inducing...I can't bear to look*
NOLAN: "!!!! STUFFED ANIMALS!!!!!.... But wait the last one was an illusion!!! YEAH I’m not afraid of you stuffed animals, and your fluffy softness!!!"
*plop...he lands on the stuffed animals."
NOLAN:"...eep.... IT BURNS! THE PEACE THE LOVE THE TRANQUILITY!!!!!
*He starts spazzing out...suddenly a trap door opens and Nolan falls through*
NOLAN: "...I’m not gonna scream anymore..."
*as our young handsome hero falls a portal opens, Nolan falls through and comes out a computer owned by the daughter of a man whose wife recently passed away and now dresses in drag...what a world we live in.*
NOLAN: "ow.... where am I now?
*A little girl about 5 years old runs up to him*
GIRL: "TOOTH FAIRY!"
NOLAN: "excuse me?"
GIRL: "here's my tooth"
NOLAN: "um...do I look like a fairy?"
GIRL: "Dollar."
NOLAN: "uh...sorry tooth fairy broke"
GIRL: *in a demonic voice* GIMME MY DOLLAR!!!!!!!
NOLAN: "...eep...okay uh here, now if don't mind...I got to change my pants..."
*he scurries off*
GIRL: "YAAAAY...hmm.... I...O...U...RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
*Nolan quickly escapes from the demon child and arrives in Town Square. He walks up to a newsstand, which holds an electronic billboard thingy...he begins to read it. *
*Monday August, 16th 3005, Super bowl 1267 this Sunday, George Bush clone #15 wins presidential election*
NOLAN: "!!!! SUPER BOWL THIS SUNDAY!!!! I've got to buy tickets!!!!"
*an hour passes, Nolan finds himself in a wanton shop. *
NOLAN: "ooooooo.... wantonrific"
*at the counter the owner of the shop who was reading "Horrible mistakes, where God went wrong" looks up at Nolan*
OWNER: "wait a minute...!!!"
*he exits the shop and dashes over to Casey's detective agency. *
OWNER: "YO' Casey!
CASEY: "Sup' Will?"
WILLY: "do you remember Nolan Wood?"
CASEY: "yeah that's case...352, why?
WILLY: "I think I’ve found him!"
CASEY: "that's impossible he's been missing for 1000yrs without exposure to chiroperophane!
*DUM DUM DUM!!!!…
Welcome to Nolan's fourth wall lecture, 101, chiroperophane and you! Chiroperophane is a special chemical discovered by future scientists, that extends your longevity. Meaning you can't die of old age or the effects caused by it. Of course you stay the age you were when started taking them! Good-bye for now. But before I go this is a picture of a cow, can you say cow...gooood. *
CASEY: "Anyway...where is he?"
WILLY: "At my shop"
CASEY: ".... and who is running your shop?"
WILLY: ".... crap..."
CASEY: "...your stupid..."
WILY: "let's just go!"
*back at the wanton shop, Casey catches Nolan’s attention. *
CASEY: "Nolan Wood?"
NOLAN: " yeah...hmm...do I know you two???"
WILLY: "yes you do.... I’m W...."
NOLAN: "Watson!...HOW ARE YA!!!"
WILLY: "actually its Willy..."
NOLAN: " that’s nice...now you..."
*Casey glares at him with a sick twisted evil.... glare thingy. *
NOLAN: ".... yeah that's Casey....
CASEY:
NOLAN: "yo' what up, it's been so long"
CASEY: "yeah 1000 years to be exact"
NOLAN: "seems like 5 hours" *sniff sniff*
CASEY: "what's wrong?"
NOLAN: "do you smell that?"
WILLY: "sorry"
NOLAN: "no not that, it's that kind of smell, that smelly smell, that smells.... smelly...it could only come from one soul...OUTSIDE now!!!
*Nolan Casey and Willy run outside of the shop and find a guy incased in a robotic battle suit thingy...its not one of those huge ones...its a bout 8 ft high*
NOLAN: "...Zach...."
CASEY: "emperor!"
NOLAN: "WHAT!!!"
ZACH: "Nolan...long time no see...I’ve been waiting..."
NOLAN: "for what?'
ZACH: "a decent fight...I’ve always wanted to wipe the floor with you"
NOLAN: "yeah...I guess we are nemeses right?.... but how the heck am I supposed to win when your wearing a brooding robot battle suit!!!"
ZACH: "?...oh you mean my body"
NOLAN: "what!"
*welcome to Nolan’s fourth wall lecture 102, the mighty robot overlord! We have a special guest...ZACH! Take it away buddy!
*Ight...right after Nolan was sucked into the computer, I went over in astonishment to see what had happened, and I was wondering, why nobody had noticed Nolan flying into a computer...anyway, the computer zapped me and I gained powers for a limited amount of time, after the time was up I lost the powers, I became obsessed with trying to obtain it. During an experiment I crushes my body, but I had a new body built. Here I am today mad with power. MUWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Well see ya!
NOLAN: "zzzzz"
CASEY: "wake-up!"
NOLAN: "huh!!!"
*Zach charges at Nolan and slams his fist into his torso, crushing him against the ground, he then drags Nolan through the concrete and drives him into a building*
NOLAN: "AHHH! That HURT!" *cough cough*
ZACH: "Pathetic I thought you would be stronger than that! Of course no regular human could survive that.
NOLAN: "you're right"
ZACH: "WHAT!"
NOLAN: "errrr AHHHH!
*A strange aura surrounds Nolan; he breaks free from Zach's grip. *
ZACH: "THAT power, the same power.... DIGITAL POWER! But why do I care I have more power now than you could ever hope to have!
NOLAN: "now now, don't get cocky.
*Zach jumps back and fires two missiles at Nolan*
ZACH: "See ya'"
NOLAN: "tch' "
*Nolan catches the two missiles*
ZACH: "HE!!!!"
NOLAN: "catch!"
*Nolan drops the first missile and throws the other at Zach who tries to catch it and is thrown back into the wanton shop, making the wall crumble*
WILLY: "MY SHOP!!!!!"
NOLAN: "sorry Wilbur"
WILLY: "IT'S WILLY!!!"
ZACH: "DARN YOU!!!"
NOLAN: "...hmph...!!!!"
*a large piece of debris falls on Zach, crushing him! *
NOLAN: " I didn't mean for that to happen!"
CASEY: "it's not your fault...come on I’ll treat you to a movie. You coming will?"
WILLY: "ARE YOU NUTS!!! He’s dangerous to be around!"
*Willy scurries off, and Casey and Nolan go to the malco, up on the recked wanton shop a dark figure stands, glaring at Nolan*
?: "fools..."
*he vanishes*
*1 hour later, Nolan and Casey are watching Jaws 26 in 3-D*
NOLAN: "AHHHHHH!"
CASEY: "Just cover your eyes!"
*they hear a thump coming from outside*
CASEY: "what was that?"
NOLAN: "dunno, I’ll check it out"
CASEY: "you just don't wanna watch the movie you big chicken!"
NOLAN: "NO!, I’m just worried that a...kitten could have fell and hurt itself!"
CASEY: "sure..."
*Nolan walks outside and looks around, shortly after Casey comes out. *
CASEY: "well?"
NOLAN: "No... Nothing."
CASEY: "I know I heard something!"
NOLAN: "Don't worry it's probably a.... GET DOWN!"
*as Nolan and Casey drop an energy blast screeches past. BOOM! *
NOLAN: "SHOW YOURSELF!"
*Nolan and Casey get up and the shadowy figure walks out of the shadows*
NOLAN: "Who are you?"
KAIDER: "you don't know...I am the evil that lay dormant in your heart...at least until we exited the computer, that's when I found a way to escape!"
NOLAN: "!!!...So what do you want?"
*Kaider warps in front of Nolan*
KAIDER: "you Dead!...bang..."
*he fires a needle like shot from his index and middle fingers into Nolan’s heart, he then turns and looks at Casey, and raises his palm. A burst of air comes out forcing Casey off her feet and into the malco*
CASEY: *cough cough hack*
*Kaider flies away towards the middle of the new, ginormous Owensboro, he lands and his heart starts to accelerate, he starts growing, he grows to a staggering height, above all towers, 10000 times as tall as he normally is*
KAIDER: "RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
*Casey is at the Owensboro mercy hospital*
DOCTOR: "okay so you want me to resurrect him...hmm...it seems his heart is damaged...we'll need a donor. Oooooooh nurse Dan!
DAN: "Yes?"
*the doc plunges his hand into Dan's chest and pulls out his heart*
CASEY: "WHAT THE!!!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!!"
*the doc turns and gives her a crooked smile*
DOC: "hahahahaheheheheeeehahahahahohohohahaheeee!
CASEY: "eep!"
DOC: "time for surgery!"
*30 long minutes later*
CASEY: "I'm gonna hurl!!!"
DOC: "done...now...5.... 4...3.... 2...1...."
*Nolan rises*
NOLAN: "E=mc squared!"
*he falls backward*
NOLAN: "ugh.... WHERE’S KAIDER!!"
CASEY: "he went towards the middle of Owensboro."
NOLAN: "OKAY SEE YA!"
*he powers up and flies to Kaider*
DOC: "you are gonna pay me right?"
CASEY: "ugh"
*a couple of seconds later*
NOLAN: "there he is...KAIDER!"
KAIDER: "what your alive!...no matter."
*an earthquake occurs*
NOLAN: "His energy is immense! He made the earth tremble by moving his eyebrow!"
*Nolan charges at Kaider but Kaider slaps him, sending him flying into the ground*
NOLAN: "how could I forget to calculate his size.
*He jumps up, and Kaider throws a punch down at Nolan, but Nolan jumps on to his arm and runs up to his head and fires and energy blast at him! *
NOLAN: "YEAH! One point for Nolan!"
KAIDER: "FOOL!"
NOLAN: "here goes nothing!"
*Nolan and Kaider clash, punches whiz by each other, kicks fly, some making contact, they fight with such speed that sonic the hedgehog pales in comparison! *
NOLAN: "he's too strong I’m gonna have to use IT!"
KAIDER: "use what?"
NOLAN: "while I was dead I went to hell (for "supposedly" causing Zach’s death) and while I was down there I learned that you turn into a demon almost immediately. I was brought back before the process was finished. I'm half Demon!..........DEVIL TRIGGER!
*Welcome to another edition of Nolan's fourth wall lecture, 103, devil trigger power!
Devil trigger allows me to access the powers of a demon at will; there are modes where I gain more power too. EX> DTX2, DTX5, etc. During this I become 2 x's as strong, 5 x's as strong etc.*
NOLAN: "BRING IT ON!"
KAIDER: I LOVE THAT MOVIE!!!
*Nolan warps to Kaider's torso and charges into it throwing punches every which way, and Kaider is pushed back*
KAIDER: "darn!"
*Nolan pulls back his hands and forms an energy blast in each hand*
KAIDER: "I'll show you MY true power!"
*he grows two extra heads, the energy blasts in Nolan’s hands disperse*
NOLAN: "AH! SICK!"
KAIDER: "TRI CHARGER BEAMS!"
*his heads point at Nolan and fire 3 blasts that combine and form a highly destructive beam, Nolan is fatigued and can't move away fast enough, the beam engulfs his right arm, he falls to the ground. *
NOLAN: "no I can't use my arm! He’s coming...? What’s that sound?"
*two missiles whine past Nolan and hit Kaider knocking him back, a helicopter comes down and Casey gets out of it! *
CASEY: "you ok?"
NOLAN: "does it look like it?...I need to gather my energy...he's getting up again! There’s no way I can do it! I need more time!"
CASEY: "I'll give you more time!"
*she hops in the helicopter and flies toward Kaider*
CASEY: "take this...*click*...no... Ammo!.... *gulp*.... bye...."
*she flies at Kaider with full speed and crashes into him making it explode, holding him off for a little longer. *
NOLAN: "!!!!CASEY!!!! WHY THE HECK DID YOU DO THAT!!!!!!"
*he gets up and with his good arm he forms all the energy he can into his palm*
NOLAN: "I WON"T let your death be in VAIN!..... DEVIL TRIGGER X 5! NOW YOU DIE! FINAL SHINE!!!!!!
*He puts his hand in front of him and fires a ginormegahugebigiga...big beam that engulfs Kaider*
KAIDER: "!!! WHAT!!!! I CAN'T DIE I'M INVINCIBLE!!!! RAHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhh..."
*the beam disappears and Kaider is gone. *
NOLAN: "It's over..."
*he searches for Casey, thinking she might be alive...but to no avail...*
NOLAN: ".... better...get home..."
*he turns and sees thousands of people...the residents of Owensboro, cheering him, the overlord is gone and so is Kaider...they are at peace*
PEOPLE: "YAAAAAY! HE HAS SAVED US! WE SHALL BUILD A MEMORIAL IN YOUR HONOR, AND DECLARE TODAY A WORLWIDE HOLIDAY!"
NOLAN: "um...no...I'm not the one you should be thanking...you should be thanking Casey...without her help...I wouldn't have been able to destroy Kaider..."
PEOPLE: "SO WHERE IS SHE?"
NOLAN: "she’s...Dead..."
PEOPLE: ".... we are sorry...we will celebrate her accomplishments..."
NOLAN: "Two questions.... 1. How can YOU make today a WORLDWIDE holiday and 2. Do any of you have a working computer?"
PEOPLE: "...OWENSBORO IS THE TOP POWER IN THE WORLD!... and yes we do have a computer"
NOLAN: "...things definitely have changed..."
*Nolan goes with the people to the computer, he goes to the same website.... *
NOLAN: ".... bye.... people of the new Owensboro...."
*he is sucked into the computer on his way back to his own time, soon after the people leave a dark figure jumps in after Nolan..."
UNTIL NEXT TIME...
THE END!
