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Post by callidascriptor on Aug 27, 2006 16:11:43 GMT -5
Note: PG13 for Implied Violence Three Little Words I never would have guessed That it would hurt so To see my one and only Laying so pale and silent In a pool of red
He had always seemed invincible So strong and true
It was quite a shock To see something so small Enter his body and steal A life so lively and precious to me and many
I stood frozen as he fell Oh, so slowly, did he fall
His beautiful eyes were calm and reassuring Staring into mine for the last and final time
I saw his lips move and knew The three words so seldom said Were to be the last to grace his lips
As I knelt beside his body I cradled his head Watching his skin become moist from falling tears
I bent close, face to face To touch my lips to his And to whisper brokenly Three little words that I said everyday To him and only him For the last and final time... “I love you”
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Post by Cy Skywalker on Aug 31, 2006 7:56:35 GMT -5
Well that was depressing...
okay rhythm and words. Good proselike description I guess.
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SapphireBird
Rank 3 (Almost Not a Newbie)
Memento mori-Remember that you are mortal
Posts: 436
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Post by SapphireBird on Sept 3, 2006 15:40:51 GMT -5
I'm not sure why this is PG13. Implied violence isn't really PG13-able. Anyway, I liked it. It was cute, yet sad, which mixes well.
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Brokenhearts
Rank 15 (On Angie's Level)
Beware, all ye who talk 2 me
Posts: 4,934
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Post by Brokenhearts on Sept 3, 2006 17:29:32 GMT -5
ummm… yeah… depressiong… but really good depressing!!
i now have a lump in my throat… and that dus nt happen very often… jst so u no…
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