A Danger to Society

[Brokenhearts]

i posted this a while ago, on the last YWG. bt i edited it slightly.

A Danger to Society

My nails are black
My fingers claused
My hoodie has a band name
My belt is studded
My eyes have black rims
My eye shawdow contrasts
My lips are coloured
My feet are covered by old trainers
My ears are filled with music
My mouth move to the words
My hands tap to the beat

I stand here alone
Back against the wall
Eyes lightly closed
My mind on the music
Dead to the ouside world
So it would seem to you

I can feel your eyes
Looking at me accusingly
Ushering your children away
As they look up at me
Innocently curious about me
They’re not scared

It’s you

My eyes open a fraction
I see a little boy
He’s looking up at me
His blue eyes consumed with confusion
He puts his head to one side
I put mine to the other

I pull out my ear phone
“Hello,” he says
“Hello,” i reply, “are you lost?”
He shakes his head
“Why are your nails black?”

I grin

I like these questions
It shows that they can think
On their own
It prooves they have a mind
More then their parents

It means maybe the world
Is not so full of the prejudices
That worry me so at night
That maybe the generation after mine
Will accept more easily

Just maybe…

“Because I painted them,” I say to him
I hold out my hand for him to see
He touches mi clauses
His face is sad
I feel so touched

“What happened?” he asks
“I play violin… it happens”
“TOMMY!” his mother calls
She’s giving me that look
That horrible mistruful look

The look I hate

“Come away from her!”
I frown at her
So does Tommy
“Why mummy? she’s nice”
“You don’t know anything about her.”
I stand straight as his eyes follow me

“It’s ok Tommy,” I say softly
He looks so sad
“Go to your mummy,” I add
He scowls slightly but nods
He doesnt like it either

This prejudice

As he walks away
His mother glares at me
She puts her arm around him
As if in protection
But protection from me

I sigh and shake my head
Seeing society in that one woman
All the scares and fear
The stereotype she has me under
Clear as day to see

Damning me

You see me and you think
I know her and her kind
I know how always act
What they’re always like
What they always are

You don’t stop and wander
If you are wrong or right
If what you think of me
could be a misunderstanding
Something you dreamed up

In your sleep

I’ll keep my nails black
My fingers calaused
My band hoodie on
My studded belt round me
My eyes rimmed in black
My unusual eye shadow
My falling appaart trainers
My music
My knowledge of the words
My capability to keep time

For this is me
Who I am
I am not the danger in this world
It’s you

[Cy Skywalker]

Interesting. Very nice storylike rhythm. There is truth in this for some. I like the line "It shows that they can think/On their own/It prooves they have a mind/More then their parents". Good, apt description, though I don't know if this is a high school person or not. The last line riuns the semi-optimistic view that the rest of it seems to hold. Is "mi clauses" a typo?

[Brokenhearts]

yeah… im nt v gd speller and i keep 4gttin spell cheaker

thankies 4 the review ;D

[scarecrow]

The girl in this poem doesn't realize that she's guilty of her own prejudices. She rushes to the judgment that this lady doesn't want her son talking to her because of her physical appearance, because of some ill-conceived label, but the girl never stops to consider that maybe the woman just doesn't feel confortable with her little child talking to a complete stranger, that maybe the woman would still jerk her son away from her even if it weren't for the eye shadow, the lipstick, the hoodie, etc. I mean, that's what parents are always telling their kids, aren't they? "Don't talk to strangers." And this girl, so jaded by the way people are always pre-judging her, now prejudges anyone who seems to have a negative reaction to her.

That's just a personal opinion, though, and I see for the most part that you only had the lady judge the girl that way to get your point across. For the most part, it's a great poem with an excellent observation. I only wish that this girl realized that though the lady and her ignorance are dangers of society that she had no place to point fingers at anyone because she is guilty of the very same ignorance and shortsightedness that she's seeing in other people.

Nice job, Broky. Very powerful. B-.

[Brokenhearts]

thankies u;ve kinda got both parts of the arguements there tho- the problem of pre-judgeing (that she's learnt from in the past) and the problem of her so used 2 the pejudices, she pejudices bak.

thankies 4 the review/mark

[Mercy]

its a gr8 poem and it's opened my eyes a bit more to the world

[Emily]

*blinks*

I think I commented on this in the old guild before-hand.... but very shmexy poem Broksters... (gawd I'm so sorry! I use the word shmexy for everything that is cool.... GAH!!!)

[Brokenhearts]

lol thanks mercy glad it was gd 4 SOMETHING

I LUFF THT WORD!!!!! cept i litterally say sexy. thankies pink ;D glad u liked it