Brokenhearts
Rank 15 (On Angie's Level)
Beware, all ye who talk 2 me
Posts: 4,934
|
Senses
Oct 15, 2006 8:35:24 GMT -5
Post by Brokenhearts on Oct 15, 2006 8:35:24 GMT -5
Senses I look I don’t see I hear I don’t listen I touch I don’t feel Those powers Those senses Those simple Little Pleasures Have abandoned me Have left me For good no idea where this came from- jst wrote it in 2 minutes flat. jst felt like posting it its nt anythin tht im really gonna work on either
|
|
|
Senses
Oct 15, 2006 13:01:20 GMT -5
Post by johnsapphire on Oct 15, 2006 13:01:20 GMT -5
I follows, then, that it neither makes sense nor has any use of correct and good grammar. I deem it a 'meh'.
|
|
Brokenhearts
Rank 15 (On Angie's Level)
Beware, all ye who talk 2 me
Posts: 4,934
|
Senses
Oct 15, 2006 18:24:14 GMT -5
Post by Brokenhearts on Oct 15, 2006 18:24:14 GMT -5
did not get the first bit of tht, bt in ur words- meh. i have a question- how does it not make sense? it's a simple nt even quite a poem… nt sure wat it is- bt it's open 2 interpretation. it's nt laid out and spelt out 4 ppl 2 have 2 interperate it in the way I want it to- more they way they do- so, mr sapphire, what part of it does nt make sense?
second- not all poems have perfect grammer. that's part of what makes it a poem. it is otherwise known as poetic license. whats more is that little of what i rite, wen i first post it, has much grammer to it. especially somethin so completely raw. it is part of the slight difficulty i have tht im tryin 2 over come. tho it's still a massive problem. bt thts a different matter- in this case, the lack of grammer is linked with the point of 'open to interpretation'. and i am sure i am not the first to try and convey this- even professionally published poets to the same. give me a little time and i'm sure i could find a poem with the similar grammatical 'mistakes'.
poetry is open to the open to play with at will, sapphire, there are no fixed rules in grammer or so called 'sense'. poetry is the easiest way to convey oppinions and emotion becoz of this lack of rules and fixtures. i'm sorry to see that u have not seen that yet.
|
|
|
Senses
Oct 15, 2006 19:40:37 GMT -5
Post by johnsapphire on Oct 15, 2006 19:40:37 GMT -5
Will you use blasted correct english? Deciphering your bloody abbreviations is giving me a migraine.
|
|
|
Senses
Oct 15, 2006 23:38:58 GMT -5
Post by eakyra on Oct 15, 2006 23:38:58 GMT -5
Broky obviously hasnt met John yet. And he her.
Thats how she talks. You have to get used to it.
And thats how John is Broky, you have to get used to it.
|
|
|
Senses
Oct 16, 2006 9:13:57 GMT -5
Post by Denithar on Oct 16, 2006 9:13:57 GMT -5
Here is Broky's post per edit by myself. I hope you don't mind, AJ. And I'm surprised that you couldn't understand it, John. It may be hard, but it's certainly not impossible. *Cough* spell checker AJ *uncough*
_______________
I did not get the first bit of your post, but in your words=meh. I have a question-how does it not make sense? It's a simple, not even quite a poem, piece. Not sure what it is but it's open to interpretation. It's not laid out and spelt out for people to interpret it in the way I want them to. It's up to them. Mr. Sapphire, what part of it does not make sense?
Second- not all poems have perfect grammar. That's part of what makes it a poem. It is otherwise known as poetic license. What's more is that little of what I write, when I first post it, has much grammar to it. Especially something so completely raw. It is part of the slight difficulty I have that I'm trying to over come. Though it's still a massive problem. But that's a different matter, in this case, the lack of grammar is linked with the point of "open to interpretation", and I am sure I am not the first to try and convey this- even professionally published poets do the same. Give me a little time and I'm sure I could find a poem with the similar grammatical "mistakes".
Poetry is open to the open to play with at will, Sapphire, there are no fixed rules in grammar or so called "sense". Poetry is the easiest way to convey opinions and emotion because of this lack of rules and fixtures. I'm sorry to see that you have not seen that yet.
|
|
|
Senses
Oct 16, 2006 9:54:04 GMT -5
Post by johnsapphire on Oct 16, 2006 9:54:04 GMT -5
I detest poetry that hasn't correct grammar. I do not like incorrect poetry. In fact, I outrightly destest it. Look to Wilde, Gilbert, Shakespeare, and Carroll for examples of good poetry.
And I will allow you call me John. Don't call me Sapphire, it's irritating. Lord Sapphire, maybe. Or Rev. Sapphire. Maybe Professor Sapphire. But not just Sapphire. It's not nice.
In closing I think I will ignore any forthcoming poetry of yours. You seem not to appreciate my reviews, so you shan't have them. It takes courage to accept reviews that are less than commending your every word.
|
|
Brokenhearts
Rank 15 (On Angie's Level)
Beware, all ye who talk 2 me
Posts: 4,934
|
Senses
Oct 16, 2006 11:30:34 GMT -5
Post by Brokenhearts on Oct 16, 2006 11:30:34 GMT -5
i know them- i love their poetry. bt their poetry is quite similar in some respects. more contemporary writers dnt stick 2 such rigid rules. Wilde and Carroll are two of my favourite poets, bt nt mi gr8est influences. alll rite fine- i admit calling u sapphire was a little harsh, and i apologise for it. bt such meanial reviews that dnt make such sense in themselves r nt the sort of thing tht im polite 2. and certainly dnt 2 a person who seems to think tht his poetry has absolutely nothing wrong with it (meaning ur The Way poll). i love reviews- i love critisums, i always try 2 take them 2 heart and always try and improve on work bcoz of them. den's reviews r nt always favourable 2wards me. bt bcoz of tht i try 2 improve my shown work. hence my odd 'edited' works. bt ur 'review' had no defined critisums 2 speak of- therefore i cnt improve on this becoz of them, so wat review was the there for me to appriciate anyway? and den- b a sweetie and dnt bother translatin this 4 him. this is the way i type bcoz it is much less emabressin 4 me if i make a spellin mistake. bt thanks 4 doin it anyway *hugs* eaky, heh heh… we've met now… do u think he'll gt used 2 me?
|
|
|
Senses
Oct 16, 2006 11:32:47 GMT -5
Post by johnsapphire on Oct 16, 2006 11:32:47 GMT -5
I REFUSE TO READ ANOTHER BLASTED WORD OF YOUR BLOODY POSTS IF YOU CONTINUE TO ABBREVIATE IN THIS INFURIATING FASHION. USE CORRECT ENGLISH IN BOTH YOUR POETRY AND YOUR POSTS.
|
|
Brokenhearts
Rank 15 (On Angie's Level)
Beware, all ye who talk 2 me
Posts: 4,934
|
Senses
Oct 16, 2006 11:37:02 GMT -5
Post by Brokenhearts on Oct 16, 2006 11:37:02 GMT -5
I AM BLUDY DYSLEXIC! DO U HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH TIME AND EFFORT IT TAKES TO EVEN RITE LIKE THIS?!?!?! i rite like this only coz i have 2, do u honestly think tht if i cud rite normally i wudnt?! I DEALT WITH THIS PROBLEM A LONG TIME AGO- IM NT PUTTIN UP WITH ANY MORE OF IT FRM SOME STUCK FACIST IMBCILE!!!! Denithar: I don't have to delete it because it's not spelled correctly... But watch your language Broky.
|
|
|
Senses
Oct 16, 2006 14:09:13 GMT -5
Post by eakyra on Oct 16, 2006 14:09:13 GMT -5
Kids, calm down. John, THIS IS HOW SHE WRITES! If you dont like it, dont read it!
Broky, it looks like he wont get used to you or you to him, so Its best if you stay away from each other.
|
|
Brokenhearts
Rank 15 (On Angie's Level)
Beware, all ye who talk 2 me
Posts: 4,934
|
Senses
Oct 16, 2006 15:20:19 GMT -5
Post by Brokenhearts on Oct 16, 2006 15:20:19 GMT -5
i usually h8 sayin this about any1- but with pleasure
btw- eaky, wat did u think about it?
|
|
|
Senses
Oct 16, 2006 15:23:33 GMT -5
Post by eakyra on Oct 16, 2006 15:23:33 GMT -5
I like those little poems that go straight to the point. You dont have to sit there and search out what the whole thing was about. This one, did just that. I could feel your sadness in it. I think you should add the other senses in there aswell though. Titled 'Senses' and yet you only used three of them. I like it.
|
|
|
Senses
Oct 16, 2006 15:31:13 GMT -5
Post by Emily on Oct 16, 2006 15:31:13 GMT -5
Oh dear lord... *shakes head* Well I guess that it's good that the guild now has Harsh and 'helpful' Critics, but I mean -- What's happened? I am not trying to insult anyone's pride here... but .... *doesn't know what to say* Oh forget it...
|
|
|
Senses
Oct 16, 2006 15:37:53 GMT -5
Post by eakyra on Oct 16, 2006 15:37:53 GMT -5
I understand what you mean AngelEyes. But he has mentioned that if you dont want him to review your poetry, then leave him a note that says so. Everyone on here just isnt used to this kind of criticism. This is how your supposed to do it, mostly. If you went out and asked a proffesional to analize your poem, im sure you would get a simular response.
|
|