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Post by Cy Skywalker on Nov 22, 2006 16:53:26 GMT -5
Heh, very cute and peppy, good for music. Your words are well chosen, witty, unexpected. Some rhythm is off, but very little;
"OUR FLAVORS ARE EXTREMELY NUMEROUS AND THEY ARE ALL QUITE SWEET
WE OFFER THEM ONLY TO THE AFFLUENT AND TO THE ELITE
SO ASSUME IT A HEFTY COMPLIMENT IF YOU WE SHALL ENTREAT
WITH OUR TEA—AND PLEASE DON’T SLURP—BE SUBTLE AND BE QUITE DISCREET"
The number of syllables not matching did not do credit to this part; I'd get rid of the 'to' in "to the elite" and, though it is fun as is, do something so that the last line is shorter.
I can really see people moving to this.
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Post by johnsapphire on Nov 22, 2006 18:16:16 GMT -5
The rhythm in the aforementioned piece is fine. The first three lines have 16 syllables each, and the last one has 15, but the 'creet' of 'discreet' will be held for two. My composer is having quite a lot of fun with this.
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Erik
Rank 7 (Ooooh! Look, Fungus!)
Minijohn
Posts: 1,396
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Post by Erik on Nov 22, 2006 18:27:22 GMT -5
John, why on earth did you spell flavour 'flavor'. Since when were you American??  Hmm? Unless it's all a giant conspiracy. I wonder . . . |
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Post by johnsapphire on Nov 22, 2006 19:11:34 GMT -5
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
*wipes eyes*
Hehehe. Two reasons. First, it's set in America (Maine, to be specific), and second, my composer is American, and thinks that is how words ought to be spelled. To be honest, I usually buy books from amazon.com, rather than .co.uk, because it's cheaper. Great Affectations, though is thoroughlly British.
I'm glad you asked.
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Post by Cy Skywalker on Nov 25, 2006 19:25:37 GMT -5
What do you mean, "your composer"? You hired one? Don't verbally smite me for asking this question, please.
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Post by johnsapphire on Nov 25, 2006 22:35:21 GMT -5
The composer that considers it an honour to set my words to music. Mr Canzano, of Livonia, Michigan(?). He is the most talented composer I have ever had the pleasure to never meet in person, yet remain in contact with otherwise. 37 symphonies, 43 piano concerti, 51 piano sonatas, 9 violin sonatas, and 22 string quartets isn't too shabby for a 15 year old.
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Post by eakyra on Nov 27, 2006 21:22:22 GMT -5
Not at all.
And cute song. ;D
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Post by johnsapphire on Nov 27, 2006 22:22:44 GMT -5
Specificity is welcome.
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Post by eakyra on Nov 27, 2006 22:50:28 GMT -5
I'll try when im not at work.
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Post by johnsapphire on Nov 28, 2006 1:50:14 GMT -5
But I thought you don't have a computer.
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Post by eakyra on Nov 28, 2006 14:50:33 GMT -5
I dont. ;D So you'll have to wait till I bum a friends or perhaps go to my parents house. Like I am doing right now.
But alas, I cant stay for long.
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SapphireBird
Rank 3 (Almost Not a Newbie)
Memento mori-Remember that you are mortal
Posts: 436
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Post by SapphireBird on Dec 17, 2006 22:27:12 GMT -5
...wtf?
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