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Post by Ethan on Feb 4, 2007 17:04:28 GMT -5
Forest fire burns
Causing massive destruction
Life begins anew
In a hero's eyes
The blood of an innocent
weakens a strong blade
Trees block out sunlight
But a golden ray shines through
Wild flowers bloom
(Add some of your own if you want)
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Post by Cy Skywalker on Feb 5, 2007 14:31:52 GMT -5
Pretty good job. Especially the last one has some of that calmness which haiku are best at creating. The first and last have a similar theme, of life from death--but I do not understand the import of the second one. If you switched 'weak' and 'strong' it'd be a nice word/theme picture, but as it is I don't see it so well.
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Post by Ethan on Feb 11, 2007 14:35:40 GMT -5
In case you did not know what a haiku is (not saying you don't), its a three verse poem that has syllabled lines following the format 5, 7, 5 all three of the parts, are seperate poems....
and the second one does make sense if you think about it.
In a hero's eyes
The blood of an innocent
Weakens a strong blade
what it is basically trying to get across is that to kill an innocent person is bad, what you are saying, i think, is that it should be
In a hero's eyes,
the blood of an innocent
strengthens a weak blade
that makes it an evil haiku that condones killing innocent people....so, either i understood you wrong, or you dont get it....i think its the frist one, i probably am just crazy, stupid or something
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Post by Cy Skywalker on Feb 19, 2007 16:15:59 GMT -5
lol...actually, I'm not sure what I was talking about. I certainly did not want it to be an "evil haiku". Maybe my mind was too confuzzled with samurai doctrine, which I have been reading. Now, your words make more sense.
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Post by Ethan on Feb 19, 2007 16:17:05 GMT -5
lol, well thats good to hear
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Sam
Rank 1 (Still a Newbie)
Assasinate Ethan by Dawn..
Posts: 80
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Post by Sam on Apr 19, 2007 19:42:39 GMT -5
It's good,
In a hero's eyes
The blood of an innocent
weakens a strong blade
My fav part.
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Post by Ethan on Apr 19, 2007 19:43:41 GMT -5
thank you Sam *bows*
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Sam
Rank 1 (Still a Newbie)
Assasinate Ethan by Dawn..
Posts: 80
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Post by Sam on Apr 21, 2007 1:22:33 GMT -5
I thought it was very well written. I think that you could add more to it, maybe more depth, but other than that it was very good, Include it in your story somewhere!!  |
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Post by Ethan on Apr 21, 2007 6:19:00 GMT -5
I'll ad you in my story somewhere...wait...did that
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Sam
Rank 1 (Still a Newbie)
Assasinate Ethan by Dawn..
Posts: 80
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Post by Sam on Apr 24, 2007 21:09:01 GMT -5
Okay thank you Ethan. Lol.
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Post by Ethan on Apr 24, 2007 21:32:50 GMT -5
don't thank me...you died |
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