Post by Angie on Aug 11, 2006 22:14:07 GMT -5
A few weeks ago I had a dream about my future, and I felt I might be able to try to write it out and get a short story out of it. It's very short, and I'm not even sure it had a point, but it was a pretty emotional dream for me. I just hope I didn't forget any of it.
I changed the names for privacy reasons, and the fiance was a nameless faceless guy in the dream, so you won't see much of a personality from him.
This has not been proofread at all.
~
I grew up in a little nowhere town on the dry plains of Oklahoma, but I moved to a suburb of Oklahoma City after college. My fiance Paul had never seen where I grew up, but he knew how important it was to me that we hold our wedding there with my family, so we came down to stay with my dad as soon as we picked up Laura Jordan, a childhood friend, from the air port a week before the wedding.
The day before we were to be married, we had my brothers, all my aunts and uncles, and tons of my cousins over for a barbecue in the backyard to celebrate. Everybody was having fun and merrily talking, but I just couldn't quite get into it entirely.
My cousin Georgia's granddaughter came up to me and asked if we had any more ice, so I went inside to get it. After grabbing it out of the freezer, I paused to look into the back bedroom. The photo on the wall was my favorite; I always felt my mother's smile aimed at me when I looked at it. However, this time it stimulated a pang inside of me that was different from the usual joy of good memories. How could I get married without my mother there with me?
After putting the ice down in the backyard, I walked over to Paul and Laura and told them I needed to leave for a little while, and Laura asked if they could go with us. I saw the looks on their faces and, despite the circumstances of my leaving, I just couldn't deny them the opportunity to get away from my crazy relatives for a few minutes.
On the way out of town, I stopped by the store and picked up some plastic flowers. Without a word to answer the questioning glances from the passengers in my car, I drove ten miles until I came upon another little town.
I turned into the local cemetery, drove a few yards, and parked. I grabbed my flowers and walked the winding path until I came upon the gravestone of Celeste Kincannon. Kneeling down, I talked to someone who I had forced myself to avoid ever since God her away from me. It was time to renew my relationship with my best friend.
I replaced the sun-faded flowers next to the tombstone with the ones I had just bought.
"Hi, Mama. . . I- I brought you some new flowers. They're yellow; I remember you told me you liked yellow once. . ."
I felt silly, but I knew I had to do this. I took a deep breath, "So I'm getting married tomorrow. . . I keep wishing so bad you could be there. You just don't know how it feels to be getting married without your mother. . . Mom, I've grown older since you've died, but I'm still the same person. I just want you to know that no matter what, I'm not going to ever change for anything. . . I know it feels like I've been ignoring the situation and pretending like nothing's wrong, but I just hope you realize that it's the only way I could start to heal."
I heard Paul and Laura talking to each other about me down the lane by the car, but I had to go on.
"After you left, I saw Sherry, and I thought I was looking at a ghost. It's one of the disadvantages of you having a twin; I haven't been able to look at her properly since the funeral. But I am inviting her to the wedding - she was always like a second mother to me, and I can't keep shutting her out like I've done to you lately. And I'm ready to let you back in too. . . Tomorrow I'm going to wear that blue necklace dad got you for your anniversary, so I have something borrowed and something blue, and I'm hoping it's like having a part of you with me. . . Mom, if there's any way you can all the way up there, please find a way to see me get married. I have to know that I got to share it with you. And if you could, try to look after me for a while longer. I still need you."
The next day I had one of the happiest days of my life. I married the man I loved, and I was surrounded by family and friends, and I felt that my mother must have been there to support me. I shed only one tear that day, and it was a bittersweet tear, for I found a single yellow flower lying next to the church doors. My best friend was finally back in my life.
I changed the names for privacy reasons, and the fiance was a nameless faceless guy in the dream, so you won't see much of a personality from him.
This has not been proofread at all.
~
I grew up in a little nowhere town on the dry plains of Oklahoma, but I moved to a suburb of Oklahoma City after college. My fiance Paul had never seen where I grew up, but he knew how important it was to me that we hold our wedding there with my family, so we came down to stay with my dad as soon as we picked up Laura Jordan, a childhood friend, from the air port a week before the wedding.
The day before we were to be married, we had my brothers, all my aunts and uncles, and tons of my cousins over for a barbecue in the backyard to celebrate. Everybody was having fun and merrily talking, but I just couldn't quite get into it entirely.
My cousin Georgia's granddaughter came up to me and asked if we had any more ice, so I went inside to get it. After grabbing it out of the freezer, I paused to look into the back bedroom. The photo on the wall was my favorite; I always felt my mother's smile aimed at me when I looked at it. However, this time it stimulated a pang inside of me that was different from the usual joy of good memories. How could I get married without my mother there with me?
After putting the ice down in the backyard, I walked over to Paul and Laura and told them I needed to leave for a little while, and Laura asked if they could go with us. I saw the looks on their faces and, despite the circumstances of my leaving, I just couldn't deny them the opportunity to get away from my crazy relatives for a few minutes.
On the way out of town, I stopped by the store and picked up some plastic flowers. Without a word to answer the questioning glances from the passengers in my car, I drove ten miles until I came upon another little town.
I turned into the local cemetery, drove a few yards, and parked. I grabbed my flowers and walked the winding path until I came upon the gravestone of Celeste Kincannon. Kneeling down, I talked to someone who I had forced myself to avoid ever since God her away from me. It was time to renew my relationship with my best friend.
I replaced the sun-faded flowers next to the tombstone with the ones I had just bought.
"Hi, Mama. . . I- I brought you some new flowers. They're yellow; I remember you told me you liked yellow once. . ."
I felt silly, but I knew I had to do this. I took a deep breath, "So I'm getting married tomorrow. . . I keep wishing so bad you could be there. You just don't know how it feels to be getting married without your mother. . . Mom, I've grown older since you've died, but I'm still the same person. I just want you to know that no matter what, I'm not going to ever change for anything. . . I know it feels like I've been ignoring the situation and pretending like nothing's wrong, but I just hope you realize that it's the only way I could start to heal."
I heard Paul and Laura talking to each other about me down the lane by the car, but I had to go on.
"After you left, I saw Sherry, and I thought I was looking at a ghost. It's one of the disadvantages of you having a twin; I haven't been able to look at her properly since the funeral. But I am inviting her to the wedding - she was always like a second mother to me, and I can't keep shutting her out like I've done to you lately. And I'm ready to let you back in too. . . Tomorrow I'm going to wear that blue necklace dad got you for your anniversary, so I have something borrowed and something blue, and I'm hoping it's like having a part of you with me. . . Mom, if there's any way you can all the way up there, please find a way to see me get married. I have to know that I got to share it with you. And if you could, try to look after me for a while longer. I still need you."
The next day I had one of the happiest days of my life. I married the man I loved, and I was surrounded by family and friends, and I felt that my mother must have been there to support me. I shed only one tear that day, and it was a bittersweet tear, for I found a single yellow flower lying next to the church doors. My best friend was finally back in my life.
