The Nutters Episode 1(*WARNING*:Contains Language)

[Creative]

The Nutters In

A Touch Of Glass (Episode 1)


Fred Nutter and his Dad Herbert ran their own business in the building trade. Their works, could, at best be described as "dodgy". They shared a house in Manchester.

One morning, Fred was sipping his tea from a mug when the doorbell rang. Despite the fact it was now April,
the doorbell played the tune of "We Wish You A Merry Christmas".
Fred went to answer the door.
"TV Licence inspector," said the man.
"We don't have a TV," lied Fred.
"You've got a satelite dish," the TV Licence Inspector pointed out.
"I've got two bottles of milk on me doorstep," Fred replied, "But that doesn't mean I've got a cow in my garden."
With that, he slammed the door and returned to his arm chair.
"Bloody TV Licence. We'll have to get one you know," Fred said to his father.
"We've had no business for ages now," Herbert replied sadly, "We can't afford one."
Fred got up from his chair to gaze out of the window.
"Something's got to come up," he said sadly.
"Typical," replied Herbert, "We've no money, and all you can do is talk about sex!"
"I wasn't," replied Fred angrily, "What I meant when I said 'Somthing's got to come up' was a job is bound to turn up sooner or later. Stop fretting. This rotten nail is still sticking out of the window frame. I'll sort it out."

Fred went into the kitchen and returned with a hammer. He began banging furiously at the protruding nail. Unfortunately, the hammer flew out of his hand, and through the unopened window, causing the glass to break.
"That's all we need," muttered Herbert.

Fred went to the coffee table and picked up the 'phone. He dialled in some numbers.
"Hello," he said finally, "Is that the glaziers?"
"Yes indeed," replied a voice, "A Touch Of Glass Glaziers at your service."
"Look, I've smashed a window," said Herbert impatiently.
"We have just what you need," replied the voice.
"Oh, good," Fred muttered under his breath, "I wasn't sure if you sold cardboard."
"Pardon?" enquired the voice.
"Oh nothing," Fred said, "Just have the glass sent to 17 Eagle Drive...."

When the call had finally finished, Herbert said in bemusement, "17 Eagle drive. But the Smith's don't have a broken window."
Fred picked up a golf ball which was lying about on the floor, and threw it through the window towards the Smith's house.
"They do now." muttered Fred.

Five minutes later, there was a knock at the door.
"This'll be the Smith's come to complain. I'll be in the kitchen, you can sort this mess out yerself, you you hooligan." Herbert said in disgust.

Fred went to answer the door.
"My son says he saw you throw a golf ball at his bedroom window," raged Malcolm Smith.
"Well let me show you something," replied Fred motioning for Malcolm to come inside.
When they reached the living room, Fred said "Your son has smashed our window. He has also smashed his own, and then realising what he had done, decided to blame me. Now can you really see a middle aged man like myself going round smashing windows?"

"Well," replied an embarressed Malcolm, "Of course not. I'm sorry for accusing you."
He pulled out a wad of notes.
"This should be enough to cover the costs of getting your window replaced."
"Thankyou," said Fred taking the cash. He peered through the window. "Oh there's the glazing firm just arriving at your house. I took the liberty of calling them for you."
"That's very kind of you," Malcolm replied, "I must get back and let them in. Thankyou."
"No, thankyou" Fred replied with a satisfied grin.

Malcolm left the house.
As soon as he heard the door slam shut, Herbert returned to the living room.
"Now I suppose we'll have to pay for the Smith's window." he said and tutted.
"Not at all," replied Fred, "In fact," [he pulls the money from his pockets] "He has paid us to fix our broken window!"
Herbert gave a look of astonishment, "I don't know how you do it, I just don't!"

THE END

[Shadow]

I liked the character of Fred he had me laughing. He does and says some witty stuff. I saw that the characters of Fred and Herbert clashed which was good. OK erm I'm not very skilled at this critique stuff as you can see. I'd like to know more about Fred's and Herbert's business, that would be an interesting thing to know.

[Creative]

sorceressofshadow said:

I liked the character of Fred he had me laughing. He does and says some witty stuff. I saw that the characters of Fred and Herbert clashed which was good. OK erm I'm not very skilled at this critique stuff as you can see. I'd like to know more about Fred's and Herbert's business, that would be an interesting thing to know.

Thanks.
At one point, I supose I'm going to have to have them taking on a new career as they can't carry on doing shoddy work like in the above episode, but not for a while yet. I might even kill of one of the characters, lol (a high possibility, but another character will be brought in long before that).
AS for the business, they set themselves up in the building trade with no knowledge whatsoever of building (it's amazing no-one's been electricuted yet (hmm, I could kill one character off with that, lol I'd just like to kill off a main character, it would be fun).
I'll write an episode where they look back on their life, and the start of the business, in series 3 (series 1 and two only have 3 episodes, the rest will have around 6 or more) or three where it's Fred's wedding day, and someone from Fred's past turns up who could stop the wedding.
In episode 3, which I am posting in a mo, they actually do some building work, which is a disaster.

[Chris]

I think this story is about a father-and-son pair who trick their neighbour into fixing their window. I think this story is meant to entertain through comedy, and I think this story's intended audience is your fellow guildians. The following review is based on the preceding assumptions.

Fred and Herbert Nutter, father and son, are builders, and "dodgy" ones too. They are down on their luck. They haven't had any business in months. We don't wonder long why, because Fred somehow manages to break a window while taking care of a protruding nail, the hammer flying out of his hand to smash a window.

However will they get it fixed? Fred's got a genius idea: break another one! After calling the glaziers and directing them to 17 Eagle Drive, his neighbor Malcolm's address, he hurls a golf ball (why a golf ball? I dunno) at one of Malcolm's windows, and shatters it.

What is his plan? We discover it when Malcolm comes over, complaining that his son claims that Fred's broken his window. Fred turns it around on Malcolm, saying that it was his son that broke both the windows, and is appropriating his blame at someone else to cover up for his own misdeeds. "Now can you really see a middle aged man like myself going round smashing windows?" Fred asks of Malcolm, and Malcolm, who can't help but to believe this and is understandably embarrassed, dishes out some ducats to cover the cost of the Nutters' window. Problem solved.

Like any piece of writing, there are things that don't work, and the plot holes that I have come to associate with Creative rear their ugly heads. Fred just spontaneously notices a nail sticking out of a wall, and how many down-on-their-luck builders do you know who would just find a random golf ball lying around? The TV Licence Inspector (so weird, that) comes across as fluff, a setup for a gag that falls a little flat in a very short piece.

But I was pleasantly surprised that most of it did work, and the things that did work worked quite well. The entire story might be a one-trick pony, but the one trick it does know is almost clever and very cute (but not too cute, as illustrated by a slightly crude but still amusing joke about "something's got to come up"), so much so that it surprisingly brought a smile to my face. And the little jokes that this pony takes along for the ride, particularly "Something's got to come up" and "I wasn't sure if you sold cardboard" are in the same clever, cute, amusing vein that compliment it well.

Another thing that I really liked was the characterization. We aren't given descriptions of anyone, and yet it was plain to see that the Nutters do have personalities, and we don't need to be told what their personalities are because they are made obvious throught heir actions. Fred is clearly a mischievous, scheming, clownish troublemaker. Herbert is clearly crotchety and disapproving.

I imagine this as a newspaper comic. It's short, it's thin, it's fun, and it's got an obvious joke coming that you can see from a mile away but it still gets you when it finally comes. It's not much, but it should be just enough to make you laugh, or at the very least make you smile. And that's just what the Nutters do.