Post by randommonkey on Dec 8, 2007 20:23:53 GMT -5
I would like to say, please don't take this. I'm working on this currently, and in a couple of years ( or longer) I don't want to see it on book shelves, which would mean I would have to delete my work. Anyway, please critique, I would love it. Say whatever, I will be sad if you don't. But I'll be happy if you do. 
I need to write more, but still, please read and enjoy, and give criticism.
Prologue
All I remember is the pounding of footsteps, getting closer and closer, the feeling that whoever was after me was not normal, and falling. That’s all. Now I’m here, a place I’ve never seen or heard of, and I have no clue how.
Chapter one
Realization
I opened my eyes to see people around me, they were quite beautiful actually. There was something odd about them though, I didn’t know what.
“Stupid little brat,” one muttered.
“Calm down, she was just squirming while we were carrying her and she fell,” another person said.
“Hurry up! The King may be getting impatient, and we all know what that means,” a man farthest from me said. No one was making an effort to pick me up, they seemed to involved in the conversation. Maybe they didn’t notice that I was fully awake and ready to run. “Actually,” I thought, “ That’s not a bad idea. They seem to want to take me to a king, yet there are no kings that I know of. Getting out of here would not be a bad idea.”
Now they were arguing of who was going to carry me to the king. “I already carried her!” a woman yelled at a man. No one was paying attention to me. I slowly got up, trying not to direct attention to myself. Everyone was still arguing, good. I turned around and started running.
“She’s getting away!” someone yelled behind me.
It then came to my attention that I was in a forest. Last time I closed my eyes I was in my house, on my bed that had stars and moons on it. I was so lost in my thoughts that I almost tripped over a tree root. “I gotta be more careful,” I muttered to myself as I ran, dodging trees and low hanging branches.
Thump, thump, thump.
The footsteps were getting closer and closer.
I ran up the stairs. My feet were so noisy in the empty house. Where were my parents anyway? I didn’t have time to look behind me, but I could hear the sound of someones’ or somethings’ steps starting up the stairs. Who, and what, were they and why were they chasing me? I did nothing to them. Then I forgot about what was chasing me and continued running. The faster I ran, the louder and closer the footsteps were behind me. I ran into my room and opened the window. I could jump out window and onto the tree outside. I heard the door unlocking, that must be impossible. I just got in here. Whoever was after me wasn’t normal. Then I fell.
I shivered. That was a scary memory. I hadn’t remembered much after that. Actually, now that I think of it, I don’t remember anything at all after that. My feet had taken me to a town or village. Where in the world was I? Once again, I failed to watch were my feet were taking me and tripped on something. A few unnaturally beautiful people began to glare at me. Why were people in this town so mean? After all, it was only an accident.
Thump, thump, thump.
They were already here! I had had a head start, and they were still right behind me! These people must be champion runners. Why was I still here? I should be on the run by now, yet I was still on the ground, which was not the best place to be at the time. Then I realized I was frozen, I couldn’t move one bit. I could see one person coming dangerously close. People had started to crowd around me, they must have known that I had something to do with these odd people. The closest of the people who were chasing me started walking, she had realized that I couldn’t move.
“What are you doing? Run!” I heard a man shout in the middle of the crowd.
The woman stopped to search the crowd, “Who shouted that?” she demanded. This was my chance. I got up on my wobbly legs and made a dash for it. I shoved people in the crowd out of the way as I fled blindly. “Hurry up!” the woman shouted as she motioned the other people chasing me. She was probably the leader. I turned left and jumped over a frog that seemed content on killing itself. “That frog is going to get itself killed!” I mumbled, “ I would think that a frog would learn to stay out of the roads.”
“Why does everyone have to run?” the leader of the group questioned herself. Was she that close? Or had the chase given me an edge that made me have freakishly good hearing? I turned right and started heading straight. A few houses lined the street I ran in. I could still hear the pounding of footsteps behind me. Why hadn’t I lost them? I turned right once more, which was my mistake because it turned out to be an ally. I started to run out, but it was too late, they were already entering the ally. I slowly stepped back. How had it come to this? Then I saw an old fire escape ladder and began to climb up it. The followers were close behind. I was on a platform when they were pitifully close. Game over, this is where is ends. Then a teenager- he looked about 14 anyway- looked up at me. He jumped all the way to the platform I was on!
“What the,” I muttered. The teenage boy grabbed my arm and an amazing thing happened, he turned into a giant bat! I looked down at my followers. The leader of the group had red hair and was carrying a sword. I turned my head from the leader and looked at the view below. Few heads turned upwards towards me and the giant bat. “Funny,” I thought, “Usually this sort of thing would attract more people than this.” The giant bat swooped low into an ally. The bat then transformed back into what looked like a normal teenage boy. Like everyone else I had encountered, he was stunningly gorgeous. He put a hood and a cape on my head and picked me up. Then I fell asleep.
The sun was shinning when I awoke. After a while I remembered what had happened yesterday. “It was probably just some odd dream,” I thought. But the house, it wasn’t mine, so that means what happened yesterday must have happened. I opened the closest door to see a teenager, at the age of 14, sitting in a chair.
“Gosh, I forgot how long you humans sleep,” He said.
“Humans? Aren't you one, too?” I asked.
“Well,” he said, “Not exactly.”
“What do you mean, ‘not exactly’? You’re either a human or you’re not.”
“Then I’m not,” he said, “ I guess you could say I’m.... well...a.. vampire.”
“V-vampire?” I stuttered. He nodded.
“Don’t scream, please don’t scream. I’m not content on drinking your blood,” he said, “ Though it does smell good.” I shuddered and took a small step back. “Relax, will ya? I won’t drink your blood. I promise.”
“So everyone’s a vampire here? Is that why everyone glared at me when I tripped?” I asked.
“Yeah, every vampire is gracefully, and usually prettier than your average super model. When you tripped, you showed everyone that you were a human,” he answered. I remembered, how everyone was so pretty and graceful, then I remembered my escape.
“How did you turn into a bat? Aren't vampire’s suposed to turn into smaller bats anyway?”
“Well, I turned into a bat because that’s the first animal I see in life, when I’m on the astral plane. There are many reasons. How I turn into a bat is a little more complicated. I can’t really describe it, and until I can describe it, I cannot answer your question.” I couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed, but he had a point. You can’t answer a question unless you know how to answer the question.
“So, not everyone turns into a bat when they transform?” I ponder.
“Yeah, pretty much. Some vampires turn into toads, or hawks. Sometimes they even turn into insects. To answer the question why we don’t turn into small versions of the animal we transform into is because the fact that its hard to put your matter into a smaller form, so most of us just spread out our matter. But the higher ranks of the people who work for the king, they can do it... the king gives them special privileges for working for him.”
An image of a man from fifth grade flashed in my mind. I recognized him as King Gorge. This king reminded me of him.
“I’ve got another ques-”
“You’ve asked too many questions. Why do humans have to be so curios? Why couldn’t they just say, ‘hey, vampires exist’ but no they have to ask questions like 'why' and 'how' before running away screaming.”
“This one’s not like the others, though. Please!” I begged.
“What is it?” He asked curiously.
“What’s your name?”
“My name’s Staton. What’s yours?”
“ My name’s Victoria Rose. You can just call me Victoria or you can call me Rose if you like.”
“Well, ok miss Victoria Rose, what would you like for breakfast?”
“Breakfast?,” I muttered, “Hmmm”
“How about we just take you to the town next door?” Staton asked.
“I think that would be delightful.”
“Ok, Victoria Rose, we have to put you in a disguise,” Staton said. With his last words I sighed. Disquises were not the best thing for me, I have trouble keeping my Halloween costumes in tact. Staton saw my look, “Hey, at leasts its not brain surgery.” I muttered something dark under my breath that was almost inaudible, and from his distance, should have been. Staton turned around as soon as I had finished my sentence. “ Thanks” he said sulkily.
I need to write more, but still, please read and enjoy, and give criticism.Prologue
All I remember is the pounding of footsteps, getting closer and closer, the feeling that whoever was after me was not normal, and falling. That’s all. Now I’m here, a place I’ve never seen or heard of, and I have no clue how.
Chapter one
Realization
I opened my eyes to see people around me, they were quite beautiful actually. There was something odd about them though, I didn’t know what.
“Stupid little brat,” one muttered.
“Calm down, she was just squirming while we were carrying her and she fell,” another person said.
“Hurry up! The King may be getting impatient, and we all know what that means,” a man farthest from me said. No one was making an effort to pick me up, they seemed to involved in the conversation. Maybe they didn’t notice that I was fully awake and ready to run. “Actually,” I thought, “ That’s not a bad idea. They seem to want to take me to a king, yet there are no kings that I know of. Getting out of here would not be a bad idea.”
Now they were arguing of who was going to carry me to the king. “I already carried her!” a woman yelled at a man. No one was paying attention to me. I slowly got up, trying not to direct attention to myself. Everyone was still arguing, good. I turned around and started running.
“She’s getting away!” someone yelled behind me.
It then came to my attention that I was in a forest. Last time I closed my eyes I was in my house, on my bed that had stars and moons on it. I was so lost in my thoughts that I almost tripped over a tree root. “I gotta be more careful,” I muttered to myself as I ran, dodging trees and low hanging branches.
Thump, thump, thump.
The footsteps were getting closer and closer.
I ran up the stairs. My feet were so noisy in the empty house. Where were my parents anyway? I didn’t have time to look behind me, but I could hear the sound of someones’ or somethings’ steps starting up the stairs. Who, and what, were they and why were they chasing me? I did nothing to them. Then I forgot about what was chasing me and continued running. The faster I ran, the louder and closer the footsteps were behind me. I ran into my room and opened the window. I could jump out window and onto the tree outside. I heard the door unlocking, that must be impossible. I just got in here. Whoever was after me wasn’t normal. Then I fell.
I shivered. That was a scary memory. I hadn’t remembered much after that. Actually, now that I think of it, I don’t remember anything at all after that. My feet had taken me to a town or village. Where in the world was I? Once again, I failed to watch were my feet were taking me and tripped on something. A few unnaturally beautiful people began to glare at me. Why were people in this town so mean? After all, it was only an accident.
Thump, thump, thump.
They were already here! I had had a head start, and they were still right behind me! These people must be champion runners. Why was I still here? I should be on the run by now, yet I was still on the ground, which was not the best place to be at the time. Then I realized I was frozen, I couldn’t move one bit. I could see one person coming dangerously close. People had started to crowd around me, they must have known that I had something to do with these odd people. The closest of the people who were chasing me started walking, she had realized that I couldn’t move.
“What are you doing? Run!” I heard a man shout in the middle of the crowd.
The woman stopped to search the crowd, “Who shouted that?” she demanded. This was my chance. I got up on my wobbly legs and made a dash for it. I shoved people in the crowd out of the way as I fled blindly. “Hurry up!” the woman shouted as she motioned the other people chasing me. She was probably the leader. I turned left and jumped over a frog that seemed content on killing itself. “That frog is going to get itself killed!” I mumbled, “ I would think that a frog would learn to stay out of the roads.”
“Why does everyone have to run?” the leader of the group questioned herself. Was she that close? Or had the chase given me an edge that made me have freakishly good hearing? I turned right and started heading straight. A few houses lined the street I ran in. I could still hear the pounding of footsteps behind me. Why hadn’t I lost them? I turned right once more, which was my mistake because it turned out to be an ally. I started to run out, but it was too late, they were already entering the ally. I slowly stepped back. How had it come to this? Then I saw an old fire escape ladder and began to climb up it. The followers were close behind. I was on a platform when they were pitifully close. Game over, this is where is ends. Then a teenager- he looked about 14 anyway- looked up at me. He jumped all the way to the platform I was on!
“What the,” I muttered. The teenage boy grabbed my arm and an amazing thing happened, he turned into a giant bat! I looked down at my followers. The leader of the group had red hair and was carrying a sword. I turned my head from the leader and looked at the view below. Few heads turned upwards towards me and the giant bat. “Funny,” I thought, “Usually this sort of thing would attract more people than this.” The giant bat swooped low into an ally. The bat then transformed back into what looked like a normal teenage boy. Like everyone else I had encountered, he was stunningly gorgeous. He put a hood and a cape on my head and picked me up. Then I fell asleep.
The sun was shinning when I awoke. After a while I remembered what had happened yesterday. “It was probably just some odd dream,” I thought. But the house, it wasn’t mine, so that means what happened yesterday must have happened. I opened the closest door to see a teenager, at the age of 14, sitting in a chair.
“Gosh, I forgot how long you humans sleep,” He said.
“Humans? Aren't you one, too?” I asked.
“Well,” he said, “Not exactly.”
“What do you mean, ‘not exactly’? You’re either a human or you’re not.”
“Then I’m not,” he said, “ I guess you could say I’m.... well...a.. vampire.”
“V-vampire?” I stuttered. He nodded.
“Don’t scream, please don’t scream. I’m not content on drinking your blood,” he said, “ Though it does smell good.” I shuddered and took a small step back. “Relax, will ya? I won’t drink your blood. I promise.”
“So everyone’s a vampire here? Is that why everyone glared at me when I tripped?” I asked.
“Yeah, every vampire is gracefully, and usually prettier than your average super model. When you tripped, you showed everyone that you were a human,” he answered. I remembered, how everyone was so pretty and graceful, then I remembered my escape.
“How did you turn into a bat? Aren't vampire’s suposed to turn into smaller bats anyway?”
“Well, I turned into a bat because that’s the first animal I see in life, when I’m on the astral plane. There are many reasons. How I turn into a bat is a little more complicated. I can’t really describe it, and until I can describe it, I cannot answer your question.” I couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed, but he had a point. You can’t answer a question unless you know how to answer the question.
“So, not everyone turns into a bat when they transform?” I ponder.
“Yeah, pretty much. Some vampires turn into toads, or hawks. Sometimes they even turn into insects. To answer the question why we don’t turn into small versions of the animal we transform into is because the fact that its hard to put your matter into a smaller form, so most of us just spread out our matter. But the higher ranks of the people who work for the king, they can do it... the king gives them special privileges for working for him.”
An image of a man from fifth grade flashed in my mind. I recognized him as King Gorge. This king reminded me of him.
“I’ve got another ques-”
“You’ve asked too many questions. Why do humans have to be so curios? Why couldn’t they just say, ‘hey, vampires exist’ but no they have to ask questions like 'why' and 'how' before running away screaming.”
“This one’s not like the others, though. Please!” I begged.
“What is it?” He asked curiously.
“What’s your name?”
“My name’s Staton. What’s yours?”
“ My name’s Victoria Rose. You can just call me Victoria or you can call me Rose if you like.”
“Well, ok miss Victoria Rose, what would you like for breakfast?”
“Breakfast?,” I muttered, “Hmmm”
“How about we just take you to the town next door?” Staton asked.
“I think that would be delightful.”
“Ok, Victoria Rose, we have to put you in a disguise,” Staton said. With his last words I sighed. Disquises were not the best thing for me, I have trouble keeping my Halloween costumes in tact. Staton saw my look, “Hey, at leasts its not brain surgery.” I muttered something dark under my breath that was almost inaudible, and from his distance, should have been. Staton turned around as soon as I had finished my sentence. “ Thanks” he said sulkily.
