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Post by ::plugin|baby>>>> on Sept 19, 2006 7:22:16 GMT -5
Ha ha, very nice. Where's Hermione?
You don't need to call it a Prologue. Chapter One is probably a better title. But you're a good storyteller, so please continue! I've read so many fanfics that have a brilliant opening, but then they don't continue or further develop their story.
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Brokenhearts
Rank 15 (On Angie's Level)
Beware, all ye who talk 2 me
Posts: 4,934
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Post by Brokenhearts on Sept 19, 2006 8:13:27 GMT -5
it's seriously a prologue  i'm about to post some of chapter one in a moment. that's jst introducing how the charrecter's USED to be. hermione comes in in this one  don't worry, we'll continue u it... as soon as ash edits the rest of chapter 2... which she has yet 2 do  i'll annoy her about, dnt worry ;D glad u enjoyd it- AND GLAD UR BAK!!!!!!! |
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Post by ::plugin|baby>>>> on Sept 22, 2006 3:25:29 GMT -5
Nice plot development but I have a few concerns I want to raise. PLEASE GET YOUR SPELLING RIGHT! This chapter is in serious need of a spelling overhaul and edit. It's also rather disjointed and at times comes across as childish, rushed and unorganised. I think you need to work on your expression because I lost interest halfway and forced myself to read the rest and I felt as if you were rambling on a bit, so you should perhaps write a plot up for each chapter to create a solid structure and continuity. But this is a learning curve, so I hope you take my advice into consideration and I'm looking forward to the next installment!
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Brokenhearts
Rank 15 (On Angie's Level)
Beware, all ye who talk 2 me
Posts: 4,934
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Post by Brokenhearts on Sept 22, 2006 10:58:48 GMT -5
ummmm… yeah…  im a dyslexic who keeps 4gttin 2 use spell check i shall do- thankies i shall re rite tht bit… im jst nt entirely sure how…  thankies 4 the feed back!!! ;D |
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Post by ::plugin|baby>>>> on Sept 22, 2006 18:35:48 GMT -5
If you need help, I can help you edit it. It's up to you.
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Brokenhearts
Rank 15 (On Angie's Level)
Beware, all ye who talk 2 me
Posts: 4,934
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Post by Brokenhearts on Sept 22, 2006 21:35:09 GMT -5
oooo- tht'd b AWESOME!!!!! ;D
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Post by ::plugin|baby>>>> on Sept 23, 2006 22:15:16 GMT -5
Right, I'll edit Chapter 1 as soon as I can and I'll PM it to you. Your Prologue has no problems, so I won't touch that.
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i'm about to post some of chapter one in a moment. that's jst introducing how the charrecter's USED to be. hermione comes in in this one 
don't worry, we'll continue u it... as soon as ash edits the rest of chapter 2... which she has yet 2 do 
i'll annoy her about, dnt worry ;D glad u enjoyd it- AND GLAD UR BAK!!!!!!!
im a dyslexic who keeps 4gttin 2 use spell check 
thankies 4 the feed back!!! ;D