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Post by Angie on Jul 12, 2006 20:16:00 GMT -5
I wrote this a LONG time ago (like early 2004). This is a little thing I entered in my friend's writing competition. Tell me what you think:
It was night, and the sky was clear and starry. It seemed to expand forever, and I just wanted to reach up and touch the celestial spheres. I wanted to live with them, to be with them and look down upon the Earth forever. There was a cool springtime breeze blowing. I could smell the lake a few miles away. Animals were howling in the nearby forest, but they seemed far off. It felt so peaceful, a young child drifting off to sleep in my mother's arms. I could hear the crackling of the campfire and smell the delicious aroma of freshly cooked barbeque. The field we were in smelled of flowers and grass. The light of the fire lite up my family's faces as they talked, laughed, and ate. I felt so lucky for them to be there with me. Their voices seemed distant in the wide, open space. Though the night was anything but still, lying there staring up at the twinkling stars and listening to my loved ones was somehow serene. Being just a child, young and loving, I adored that tranquil time. I still treasure it, as I shall forever.
EDIT: I won third place, but I never got my prize. Oh well, I'm happy. ;DOh, and looking back on the thread, I see that my first erased account has ANOTHER karma. It's at 3.
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Post by Gil Alexander on Jul 12, 2006 20:52:13 GMT -5
This is an awesome peace. It's very atmospheric, and it accomplishes its objective. Nice job ;D
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Post by Angie on Jul 12, 2006 20:53:02 GMT -5
Wish I could still write like that then.
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Erik
Rank 7 (Ooooh! Look, Fungus!)
Minijohn
Posts: 1,396
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Post by Erik on Jul 27, 2006 21:28:52 GMT -5
It's beautiful. Only thing is the 'freshly cooked barbeque' bit it made be think of someone heating up/cooking a big metal oven. I don't know why- I'm just weird
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Post by Angie on Jul 28, 2006 14:47:31 GMT -5
Lol, it was written about a time when I was staying the night at my aunt's house, and we were grilling hamburgers and hotdogs in her back yard.
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