Poetry Contest I

[Angie]

Write a poem about what you think happened between these two people:

www.bigstockphoto.com/photo/view/175446?

Style: any
Rhyming: optional
Stanzas: same length, any length
Length: 15-30 lines
End date: ASAP
Judge: none

Please only post here with your entries so as not to clutter the thread. If you have questions, PM me or the judge.

[Angie]

Gilly's Entry

"This money was meant for our future car--
Not a sudden trip to the stars,"
Adrian said and looked at the bills with a sigh.

"But listen to me," Liv pleaded.
"My illness--it must not be repeated;
All I want to do is to touch the sky."

He turned from her and stared at his hands,
Trying not to look at his wife's anxious stance.
"And yet your health is the one thing I fear."

Liv smiled at him and said,
"Spaceships silver and rockets red.
Seeing the east and west shrink and the black become near.

"But the thing of which you should be afraid
Is covering me with squinted eyes and hands of clay,
And allowing me to leave this place without glimpsing what's beyond our normal phase."

But before she could say another word,
He said with a tremble, "Too long, you I have ignored."
Dropping his money, he went to her and kissed her lips of lace.

[Emily]

Why can’t you understand the
Pain I feel currently, hurts so
Deep inside me, yet you don’t seem
To care, you selfish man

You have cut my
Heart with the sharpest of
Knives and it hurts so
Bad I can’t breathe

I try to smile for
You everyday, and to
Pretend nothing happened
Is so hard for me it hurts so

So when you made your
Vows to me on our Special
Day why did you break
Them, it hurts me so.

So smile for once in a while,
Because I do it for you every day,
And It’s not my fault that the guilt you feel,
Grows in strength everyday.
And I can’t help but wanting for you to hold me close
And tell me that everything is ok,
And to say sorry, because forgiveness can be given
If only you’d come sooner.

Please don’t shatter my heart.

[Jakazul]

Wow, I just got back in town and saw that this was over, so I'm really glad to see it's been extended and I can give my entry! So here it is.

Out of Focus

I regret everything I said to you,
That makes us have to keep going through,
This hell that we are about to,
Be reliving again.

Every word from my lips starts another fight,
And every syllable defines another sleepless night,
I keep on telling myself that this can't be right,
I keep reliving the pain.

Now I'm up again trying to figure out,
If there's a way to stop these pointless bouts.
I'm wishing I knew what to do about,
This growing stain.

So tell me why do we have to be this way?
Up every night with nothing to say.
You want me to believe it will be better some day.
I want to dissapear.

In your perfect world these feelings are banished.
In your perfect world we have both vanished.
We've been replaced and I can't stand it,
This is my worst fear.

You ask me what's wrong and I say nothing,
Another night that ends in lying.
Because I only want to stop the crying,
So things can be clear.


Copyright Jake Fox 2006, All Rights Reserved

[scarecrow]

A Tryst and It's Twists

Boy meets Girl, you know the rest
Some murmured words, an exchanged glance
A few more drinks, A fervent kiss
Something's awake in that guy's pants
Apartment door, Clothes to the floor
Next comes the horizontal dance

Huzzah, huzzah, boy, that cloud burst
She swore the earth shifted just then
Puff and blow in the afterglow
Any chance we could do it again?
Look at him smile that cocky smile
It says, "Just tell me where and when."

And so it goes, pick up the phone
Call my name, I'll bring the wine
Tuesday's no good, I'm busy then
But Friday suits them both just fine
Forget the drinks, she teases him
'Cause I don't think we'll have the time

Casual fling, ain't no big thing
Things for him are looking sweet
But life's too short to waste for her
Just 'cause he moves the ground beneath
She wonders if he'll stick with her
If she stops putting out the treats

Now two's a pair to his despair
So much work, he gets no play
She talks of houses in the country
Lilies on her wedding day
She wants to walk a path together
He just wants to run away

He's so far now, miles and miles
Even though he's still by her side
She sees he's such a little dog
Shouldering a tiger's pride
He'd rather roam the open plains
Just 'cause he doesn't want a bride

Sitting in bed, the fun's long gone
Hugging her knees, that look in his eye
Two to tango, two to waltz
Dead is the dance and the will to try
And they wonder how it came to this
Twisted their tryst until it died.

[eakyra]

Choosing

My mind races with emotions,
Putting to question your devotion.
Cant think with all this comotion!
She loves me still and yet?
I cant seem to remember or forget,
How again she said they'd met.
What should I do?
I cant really seem to choose.
Her I couldnt stand to loose...
Stomachs tight in curl,
Do I loose her, my precious pearl?
Or do I let her sleep, with this girl?

[Brokenhearts]

ye... kinda 4got *blushes insanely* anyway, am here nw and i shall tell y'all the winner by 2morrow @ the latest ;D

[Angie]

Just make sure you read this first: ywg2.proboards80.com/index.cgi?board=compete&action=display&thread=1152914452

[Angie]

I haven't read or written much poetry in a very long time, so I apologise if I was too harsh in some areas or too lenient in others; this was a bit of a struggle to grade because the "poetry" part of my brain has deteriorated over the past year or two.

1.) Following the contest instructions.
2.) Creativity.
3.) Proper grammar, spelling, punctuation, etc. in the writing contests.
4.) Effort.
5.) Overall talent.
6.) Anything else the judge deems important to the particular contest (Other).

Rules: stanzas must be the same length (same amount of lines), 15-30 lines total, base subject off of photo given

First place -
Gil Alexander:
1.) 10/10
2.) 9/10
3.) 9.5/10
4.) 8.5/10
5.) 8.5/10
6.) (flow and consistency) 7/10
Total: 52.5/60

Second place -
Jakazul:
1.) 10/10
2.) 8/10
3.) 3/10
4.) 8.5/10
5.) 8.5/10
6.) (flow and consistency) 10/10
Total: 48/60

Others -

Eakyra:
1.) 8/10 (not long enough, only one stanza)
2.) 9/10
3.) 6/10
4.) 8/10
5.) 9/10
6.) (flow and consistency) 7/10
Total: 47/60

scarecrow:
1.) 8/10 (too long by two stanzas (12 lines))
2.) 9/10
3.) 3/10
4.) 8/10
5.) 8/10
6.) (flow and consistency) 10/10
Total: 46/60

Fallen Angel:
1.) 8/10 (differing stanza lengths in two stanzas)
2.) 7.5/10
3.) 3/10
4.) 8/10
5.) 7/10
6.) (flow and consistency) 6.5/10
Total: 40/60