A Vague Interpretation of Emily

[Emily]

I've finally decided to start an online diary - Goodness knows why.... But seeing as my life has just started to get interesting, and I can't share my thoughts with anyone except people who I don't know face to face -- Why not here? It's written almost like a story because I don't want to put.... Today I did blah blah and I thought it was cool.
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I lay in until 9.30am today, (I'm still not at school because of my fever) and was peacefully swimming in and out of consciousness before I was awoken by my Mum and Dad coming into my bedroom.

I pulled the cover over my head, knowing that a 'family talk' would have to take place, judging from the serious expressions on their faces.

"Em?" My mum enquired, "Can you keep a secret?"

Half of me wanted to laugh at the way my Mum has put it, but I knew from the earnestness, I couldn't.

"Mmmmnhmmmm" I mumbled from under the covers.

"Well... It's about schools..."

My heart skipped a beat and my stomach started fluttering -And I knew it wasn't because of my virus.
I stayed silent and waited for them to continue.

"Well.. It's finally possible - We've got the money from Breeze and the mortgage - so it's going to happen. In January."

I threw the covers off and sat bolt upright.

-----

To cut a long story short - I'm going to boarding school. It sounds dumb, but this is such a weird step for me. I've never changed schools in my life, except from moving from Junior to Secondary school, and never moved Houses in my life.

Ever.

And yet half of me is thrilled, and the other half terrified. Terrified of the unknown I guess...

I'll miss my parents, but I'm excited at the prospect of a new life. And it will be.

I'm still in a bit of a dream mode, and I can't figure out entirely how I feel.

[The Observer]

Wait, is this serious? It sounds like something out of a book. A sudden, unexpected adventure, a little fear, a whole lot of excitment, wow. That's amazing. I always wondered about boarding school, I'm sure it will be an unparallelled expiereince. (yes, I know I spelled that wrong)

[eakyra]

Wow, it does sound like something out of fantasy. I really hope you enjoy yourself and have a cool English teacher like In "Dead Poets Society". ;D

[The Observer]

That's one of my favorite movies. If you get Robin Williams as a teacher, you are quite possibly the luckiest student in the world. ;D

[eakyra]

No doubt! I will be so jeleous. I might even drop out of college to come join you. Well... maybe not...

[Emily]

*laughs* M'kay - I wish!

I'm not going yet - but I'm really.... Worried? I'm not allowed to tell anyone until a week today, and I am completely unaware of what my friend's reactions might be --

Anyway, I'm off school again because I was ill in the night, and I'm bored to death as well as frustrated for missing school for nearly a week now. I'll have too much stuff to catch up on when I get back.

And yet the normal but childish things are running through my head -

What if no one likes me?
What if I regret moving?
What if I miss the Grammar School?
What if the girls bitch about me?
What if I'm excluded?
What if the teachers are ignorant?
What If I hate my new teachers (especially English...!)




Stupid stuff - But it worries me

[eakyra]

Remember... just keep positive. Worry is a sincere prayer for what you dont want.

[The Observer]

Those are not childish things, those are human things. Don't be so hard on yourself. If you find a school full of good things, you should be quite happy. If you find a school full of bad thigns, then you will have the opportunity to learn great things. When you suffer, you are able to realte better and more sincerely to others who have suffered, i.e. the majority of the human race. Suffering can also, if you let it, make you a much better person and open your eyes in ways that nothing else can.

So you see, either way, I have confidence that you will be successful.

[eakyra]

I like you OB.

[Emily]

Thanks Observer (Please give me some sort of nickname or Abbrev. I can call you ^^)

I saw the doctor today, and after being stabbed and prodded in the stomach, I was told that I still have a virus, and cannot go back to school until Monday. Oh joy.

Recieved a pile of homework from school, with numerous tests, comprehension, revision and other 'exciting' things to do.

Less than a week to go until I can tell all of my friends.

But I don't know how they will react. Will they be happy for me? Will they miss me? Will they be angry that I'm leaving?

I have to somehow come up with the excuse that my parents will be working abroard more often, which is somewhat true, but in many ways a blatant lie.

I'm so nervously excited, yet I feel like I am somehow making a bid deal out of nothing.
Perhaps, things will be more clearer when I actually see the school -- and meet my fellow pupils.

I hope I make new friends. I really hope I'm not some loner, and miss all of my wonderful friends at my current school

Worried,
Emily.

[Brokenhearts]

its always like tht wen u move skls *hugs* i shud no- ive dun it enough times it'll b kewl- u'll have fun. ull make new friends- and u cn keep ur old 1s moves like this shows hu u cn really trust- hu's ur closest friends and stuff. it's a gd learnin curve almost.

gosh… i've never sounded so wisdomous in my LIFE!!!!

u'll do fine pink- promise

[The Observer]

You may call me whatever you wish. I usually let people give me whatever name they think suits me best. For this board, it seems that my nickname is rapidly becoming OB (which I don't mind at all) but if you want to call me something different, I'll still answer to it.

I'm sorry that you are sick. I know how that can be, serious illness is very irritating, I've been (and am) going throuhg it and I will remember you in my prayers.

For your friends, just relax. Nothing you can do now will change thier reaction to your leaving. All you can do is wait until it is time to tell them the news. And when you do, just one thing. TELL THE TRUTH!!!
I normally wouldn't be this bold, but this is important. If you lie, maybe they won't get upset, but you'll always wonder how they would feel if you told the truth. You'll always wonder if they would still be your firends. And if they do get upset, you'll always wonder what would have happened if you had told the truth, and you'll hate yourself for not havig the courage to do so and still ending up with friends that were angry with you.
If you tell the truth, they might get angry (mine did when I moved) but you'll know that it was not because of anything you did wrong, that thier anger was beyond your control or responsibility. But maybe, just maybe, you'll tell the truth and find that your friends are supportive and kind and understanding, even if they are a little dissappointed. Your relationship will grow and strengthen, perhaps even to the point where you can remain friends even after the move.

I say these things because I have been throuhg moves and have seen others go throuhg moves. I have also expirienced lying and truth-telling and learned many of these lessons the hard way.

[eakyra]

The first thing that comes to my mind is AngelEyes.

[The Observer]

For me? Really? ;D

See, that is why I like other people to pick out my names, sometimes they suprise me with something wonderful and flattering. That, and there is no graceful way to ask for a name like "AngelEyes", it has to be given. That's the thing about names, true names, names that really describe you, can not be made. They can only be given, and given by someone who has seen you.

So feel free to call me AngelEyes if you like. Or if you want, you could shorten it to AE (althouhg that has a bit of an A&E connotation ;D). I hope I don't sound self-centerd thouhg, if I ask why you chose that name. I'm very curious.

[Emily]

qwe said:

That's the thing about names, true names, names that really describe you, can not be made. They can only be given, and given by someone who has seen you.

That's so sweet...

May I please add it to my signature? ;D