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Post by The Observer on Oct 9, 2006 21:11:14 GMT -5
I knew when I wrote that, that you would make a comment on it. And I understand how it is does not at first make sense. Yes, taken literally, it seems strange. Someone saying "I was deeply moved" does not inspire me to write about butterflies. However, someone saying "I was deeply moved" does inspire me to write. The idea that someone is getting something out of what I write is what inspires me. I draw specific ideas out of nature and life expierience, but the energy, the passion, the will to continue drawing on these things for inspiration; that energy comes from people's emotional responses. And yes, I am fully aware that many of them are insincere, but I also know that some of them are quite sincere indeed. I have the choice to either assume people are shallow, or to assume people are truthful. The former leaves me cynical and sometimes deeply wrong about someone. The latter leaves me hopeful, often happier, and certainly with kinder and more gentle demeanor that benefits everyone. So when I can, I choose the latter.
So when I say emotional responses help me with ideas, what I mean is that they give me the energy to continue to pursue ideas. I will be the first to admit that I was very impercise in my use of language, I see that with you around I will have to be more careful.
I will read your plays as soon as possible, but might I suggest something? I understand the analytical nature of literary criticsm. I have often had to defend myself against people who say I am too harsh when I grade papers (no, I'm not a teacher, I just help occasionally). So I understand your cynical nature and comments, but might I suggest that you broaden your view? Or at least soften your word choice when describing things you don't like. Instead of calling poetry "crap" or emotional responses "cheap" try to be alittle kinder. I agree, in many ways, with much of what you say. But you'll find that people will be more receptive (and more likely to read your work and comment) if you add a little kindness in how you say things.
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Post by eakyra on Oct 9, 2006 23:04:22 GMT -5
I have to agree with OB on this. When you mentioned other poetry as "crap" I felt rather offended. I agree that you can never get better until you really dig at someone, but your really scaring people off. I really like you and your work and I know that deep down... you have the ability to be nice. ;D Just kidding, im sure you are very well rounded.
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Post by The Observer on Oct 9, 2006 23:08:31 GMT -5
OB! That's a new one, I like it! It's funny.
And I see that you are labled the Debate Queen, I hope you might still be interested in a challenge. I love debating.
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Post by eakyra on Oct 9, 2006 23:15:23 GMT -5
Well, I've only won one debate, so dont get any crazy idea's that im super awesome. But I do like to debate and although im not very good, I still like to try. And I've noticed that you've posted on the latest debate thread. Im definatly up for the challenge. ;D BTW OB (glad you like it ;D) I really love your poetry so far. The first one, really brought me into that room. The part where you mentioned the throne, and then in the very next line said De-throned, made me twitch. I just have a thing where the same word is used close together. But it was very well written I believe. ;D I'll comment on your others soon, I dont have much time tonight.
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Post by The Observer on Oct 9, 2006 23:23:15 GMT -5
that's just fine, take your time. Poetry is meant to be enjoyed and learned from, not as a chore. That's why I only post a few at a time, or only by request.
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Post by eakyra on Oct 9, 2006 23:43:04 GMT -5
Exactly. Which is why John is making my head hurt... I really used alot of smiley's in that post... wow.
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Post by The Observer on Oct 9, 2006 23:54:14 GMT -5
Nothing wrong with that. SE and I used to have smiley wars: literally hundereds of smileys in a single post. It was fun.
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Post by eakyra on Oct 9, 2006 23:56:06 GMT -5
That must have been very interesting...
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Post by Emily on Oct 10, 2006 5:56:51 GMT -5
If you ever start a thread with your poetry, I would be happy to give my thouhgts on it, and I promise to keep it lighthearted, goodspirited, useful, and not overly critical. I hope to read some of your work sometime. Perhaps - When I improve I may dare to post my pieces of... crap And I take my signature seriously, as well - EDIT: Bleh. I use too many smileys...
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Post by Cy Skywalker on Oct 10, 2006 11:39:16 GMT -5
Nice debate. This is a cool smart thing to talk about...
Actual reviews: Your rhythm is rarely perfect or even flawless, but nontheless the flow is good. (Now that's not an academic comment!) Your second one had nice imagery, though it wasn't immensly clear (I read it twice to get the cohesive image of a swamp) and the last line seems almost unconnected, because of that. The third one has some really nice lines in it .(I'm not sure that "Revealing in its calamity" isn't supposed to have the word 'reveling', but it's intriguing where it is, and cause I at least expected 'reveling' it made a layer in that line...)
The first one gave me this really great, cool/creepy image of a castle or boarding school and some one haunting it. There were problems with rhyme or rhythm more often than not, though. It depends on how serious you are about the poetry whether you'd want to go over each one a few times to check for that.
I want to see a poem explaining your name!
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Post by eakyra on Oct 10, 2006 15:22:16 GMT -5
Ooo....
That would be the coolest thing.
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Post by The Observer on Oct 10, 2006 18:57:26 GMT -5
A poem explaining my name? ooh, that is a cool idea. I don't have one yet, but I have said repeatedly that I take requests so I would be a coward and a liar if I didn't take this one. It is a decided then! I shall write a poem about my name! This may take a few minutes, or a few days, only time will tell.
I'll get "write" to work! Teehee! ;D
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Post by johnsapphire on Oct 10, 2006 20:09:02 GMT -5
When I say that I have read crap it does not necessarily reflect upon any work in this forum. Some is excellent, most is somewhat satisfactory, some is substandard. I will not hide my opinion of this. If you are offended by my critique style, please insert a *John Sapphire, I am offended by your truthful and frank critique style. Please do not review this piece* in the topic title slot of a thread you would not care for me to review. I consider my reviews a favor, not a burdain to you. I have a million other things I could be doing as I am taking more AP courses than you, all of you, have--[insert plural household object here], am Editor-in-Chief of an editorial periodical, have several manuscripts/libretti to finish by a deadline, and am working on a Soufflé that I my family will have dinner. And, I must marry people upon request.
I think I will make a 'People who are bitter upon reading my reviews' list to supplement any and all 'I am offended by your truthful and frank critique style' people.
JS
"Fear Me."
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Post by The Observer on Oct 10, 2006 20:20:49 GMT -5
I am not offended by anything you say. Truthfully. I am not angry with you or your style and I sincerely apologize if there has been any misunderstanding or if I have in turn offended you.
When I criticized your critique style, my thoughts were on the tone of your criticisms. I was, in a way, reviewing your style of reviewing, and giving comments on it. I apologize if I offended you, it was unintentional. Yet I do not apologize for what I said. I still believe that one may be truthful and frank without being rude. Yes, truth offends some people, but rudeness offends almost all people.
I am not bitter about your reviews at all, I enjoy and treasure the well-thought out criticisms and try to take them to heart whenver possible. I see them as an invaluable tool in developing my own writing skills and once again I thank you.
I sympathize with the business of your life also. Perhaps if you are too busy, or if this is too much of a burden to you, you should take a break and refuel. I would be sorry not to hear your educated responses, but if you are feeling stressed perhaps a short break to help consolidate your hectic schedule or just relax a little would be enjoyable. If I had a schedule so full I don't know how I could find the time to type here. Your juggling of such a huge workload is impressive.
I do hope we can still be friends,
The Observer
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Post by Denithar on Oct 10, 2006 21:18:19 GMT -5
Wait, you're 15 and you marry people? Britain is so weird. But we love you guys!
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